Smart Car
by Doug Hawley
18: Josie and Carl's
Christmas
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Josie and Carl went to
their traditional celebration place on a rural
road outside of Estacada Oregon where they parked
at 11PM Christmas Eve and stayed until next
morning. The temperature was around
freezing, but they didn’t care, they were
warmed by their own company.
“How many years have we been doing this now
Carl?”
“Somewhere around ten, and I’m not
tired of the place, the event or the company. Are
you tired of hearing me say that I want to spend
the last of our lives together, and I want to be
the first to go? I can’t imagine
life without you. Don’t want to.”
“You say that now, but you’ve mellowed
a lot from when it was all about sex with you.”
“Got to admit that my first impression was
your prominent headlamps and the amount of junk
in your trunk. So many curves. I
felt like a randy teenager. You had
the good sense to reject me until I could
appreciate all your qualities. Your
spirit of adventure, ready to take on any
challenge. Remember that time you
asked if I wanted to tag along while you and
Sheila went to Denver in the middle of winter
without any concern about the weather? You
skidded a few times, but you were unfazed. I
was nervous all the way but loved the scenery and
Sheila’s relatives. You two are
such great friends, but I was glad you are both
straight. I couldn’t put up with
any female competition.”
“Oh, Carl you are just as insecure as your
buddy Duke. He has never been
comfortable with his thing with Sheila, even now
that they are married.”
“Enough about those two. I’m
sure they are having a good time in Iron Mountain
Park, but I wonder how they are reacting to those
mushrooms they took. They may be on
quite a trip.”
“Then let’s move to the main event. It’s
time for the gift exchange. You go
first.”
“You are so low maintenance Josie; my gift
was quite a challenge. Like the song,
my words are the gift:
Throughout the years I had lived my life alone
I was like a dog without a bone
When I met you
I knew what I wanted to do
You told me not so fast
I want something to last
I learned that you were right
Now we’ve got something that’s tight
So, I’m not much of a poet. Does
the thought count?”
Sheila laughed, “Right on both counts. I
may not be much better with words. You
won’t get it for a few days, but I’ve
commissioned murals for you - Mt. Hood on one
side, Crater Lake on the other.”
“I guess I’ll be the best-looking car
in Lake Oswego. Shall we get to the
rest of the celebration? I’m
still a horny teenager around you.”
The two cars went at like two octopuses with
their appendages and receptacles until daylight
when they went back to their garage at Duke and
Sheila’s place and dreamed of New Year 2088.
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