Smart Car
The lives and
politics of cars and people in the late 21st century
by Doug Hawley
35: Submerged
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On a bright summer morning
in 2092 Duke made coffee and waited for Sheila to
get out of bed. After they had both had
their coffee, Duke told Sheila “I’ve
got an idea for something different to do today.
Eugene Springfield has branched out. That
guy didn’t stop after all of his huge
success with MindphoneTM. He got into
personal submersibles. A concession in
George Rogers Park rents out his crafts.
They all have safety built in, so we can’t
crash even if we want. Why don’t we
take one for a spin? I think the cars can
entertain themselves while we are gone.”
After a few cups and
getting dressed they told the cars Deuce, Carl
and Josie what they were doing, and took the
short walk to George Rogers. They got the
quick introduction to operating Medfords (named
after one of the Springfields’ children),
and launched into the area of the Willamette
River where the Medfords were allowed.
The water was fairly clear,
and they were immediately entertained by giant
sturgeon bottom feeding and salmon headed towards
the Columbia River a few miles downstream and
hence to the Pacific. The fish in the
Willamette had changed significantly over the
last forty years with the elimination of dams and
sea lions. They had flipped a coin and
Sheila got to be the pilot. After she
became perhaps overly confident, she decided to
do barrel rolls. They decided it was a bad
idea after they both came close to painting the
inside of the vessel. Fortunately for them,
their stomachs settled down quickly. About
the time that they decided they had seen it all,
they saw a conga line of other Medfords. A
queue of ten Medfords formed a train in which
each of them dipped and veered right and left.
Duke got on the intercom and got permission to
join the line with a hearty “Welcome aboard
newbie”. After a little practice,
Sheila was able to coordinate with the train.
Duke said “I just
noticed that we can lower a screen. Let’s
see what it does.”
Sheila broke from the line
of Medfords and they looked at the menu on the
screen. The options were:
Underwater sites around the world.
People in Medfords in your area.
The Underwater sites had a
submenu listing local places in the Pacific
Northwest, and in all of the oceans and many
rivers where Springfield had placed viewers.
Duke and Sheila picked places at random and
marveled at the many forms of aquatic life and
the geology of ocean and river bottoms.
Duke said “I wonder if
there is anyone down here we know?” He
went down the list of twenty submersibles.
There were several that were anonymous.
“I’ll bet they blocked names and
viewing because they are couples joining the
underwater club, like those that used to get in
the mile high club by going into the rest rooms.
Hey there’s our exes Jane and Shane. I’ll
look in on them.”
Their screen was filled
with heavenly bodies doing things vigorously
which were illegal in 63% of the world.
Duke quickly killed the picture, but kept the
sound. “My bad, I should have
remembered you were not only perverts but
exhibitionists.”
Jane said “Hey we were
just able to glance at you two. Knowing you,
I can’t imagine you were having any fun.
I won’t apologize for allowing the world to
see the beauty of our love.”
Sheila’s turn “We’re
here to see the underwater sights. We didn’t
know we’d get to see mammals spawning.”
Now Shane “We weren’t
spawning. I’m fixed.”
Sheila responded “Hey,
we have that kind of fun at home.”
Duke looked at Sheila like
“We do?”, but didn’t say anything.
Jane played peace maker “Hey, if this is
uncomfortable for you, why don’t we catch up
somewhere on dry land where people wear clothes.”
Everybody agreed with Jane
and they set up a meet next week.
After the view and sound
wrapped up, Duke told Sheila “What a day.
I don’t think anything could top this.”
He was mistaken.
A familiar voice came over
the intercom “Hey guys, didn’t expect
us did you?” It was Carl, and he was
right behind them in the train.
A surprised and confused
Duke asked “What, how?”
Carl told him “We cars
were going to surprise you. A month ago
when you took a short vacation without us, we
decided to get modified to be river or ocean
going. We heard that you were going to go
out in some Medfords, so we followed you
discretely and launched a little upstream from
you.”
Even though it was an easy
walk home, the Duke and Sheila rode with Carl and
Josie respectively and talked about the
adventures of the day. Deuce followed them.
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