Smart Car
The lives and
politics of cars and people in the late 21st century
by Doug Hawley
33: Strange Bedfellows
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Sheila asked Duke “What
are you laughing about?”
“I was just absorbing
politics on my mindphone. It seems
that your old boyfriend Shane could be our next
governor.”
“The Inferno you say. Oregon
hasn’t had a straight white male governor
for at least fifty years.”
“Longer than that, but
he has so much going for him. You can’t
forget that Shane was as kinky as my old
girlfriend Jane. Even if he is
straight, he has all that kink going for him, so
he gets credit for that. Every chance
he gets he mentions that he and Jane do the
‘Fresno Freeze’ every day and twice on
holidays. The whole country knows
about the Hometown disaster and the indexed
universal basic income is starting to lose favor
because it depletes the state budget and
everything is falling apart. The
incumbent governor is sinking in the polls.”
“I should add that I
got the better of the exchange when you and I got
together and Jane and Shane hooked up.
“Flattery is fine, but
back to the topic at hand. You think
Governor Ndalla-Gomez should take the fall for
the homeless camp that she developed on the coast
which was washed away?”
“Makes no difference
what I think. I know that she couldn’t
have predicted the date of tsunami, but she knew
that it was possible. Fifty thousand
dead, whether fair or not, can’t help the
woman at the top. She takes the blame.”
“Shane has more going
for him than the current governor’s problems. You
must admit Shane and Jane are drop dead gorgeous. They
even have euphonious names and an intriguing life. After
Shane left his gay charade, he and Jane have
become more popular for their well publicized
kinks.”
“You are right about
that. After he decided he didn’t
need to pretend to be gay to get votes, his
‘intriguing games’ made him more
popular. The House of Representatives
isn’t big enough; he thinks he can be
governor. You missed something else in
his favor. People and cars love his
replicars. Even our cars love to hang
out with Hank, his replica 2006 Mustang. All
the cars Josie, Carl, Deuce, and Hank are going
to Seattle to see Eugene Springfield and play on
his stunt car track. I must concede
that a president from the last century was
elected on his looks, so it could work for Shane.”
“Did your mindphone
tell you who his campaign manager is?”
“It’s Hank, the
first non-human campaign manager. It
won’t be hard for him to do better than many
of the previous managers, and he can double as a
PA system. One of the reports mentions
his quick wit, political acumen, and singing
ability.”
Two days later Josie and
Carl report on their trip –
“Hey guys, we are
going to be besties with the next governor’s
car.”
Two months later –
After months of smiling so
much his mouth hurt, while Jane and Hank did most
of the talking, Shane was elected governor. Sheila
and Duke were amused to get invitations to his
inauguration. They went camping
instead.
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