Smart Car
by Doug Hawley
30: Thanksgiving Day
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Duke and Sheila were
disturbed while still in bed early on the last
Thursday of November 2091. Duke said
“Sounds like Deuce’s horn. Maybe
we should see what’s happening.”
A practical Sheila responded “I’m sure
it’s nothing urgent, and if it were the
other cars could sort it out. We’re
not getting out of bed until were finished. Maybe
twice.”
Duke saw the wisdom in that and murmured
something in her ear to which she chuckled and
then they both guffawed.
A half hour later the humans got out of bed and
rambled into the yard where the cars were
assembled. Deuce said “Hey peeps,
we cars decided we should celebrate Thanksgiving. What
took you guys so long to crawl out here?”
Cars Carl and Josie, who were both well versed in
both human and car sex, unlike Deuce, giggled
while Sheila said “Oh, just some unfinished
business”.
Josie explained “We cars thought we’d
go around a circle with you humans and tell what
we’re thankful for. I’ll
start. I’ve known Sheila the
longest, but I like all of you so much. Carl
started off being a horn dog, but now he’s
my forever car and I’m his. I
could go all day long about the things I’m
thankful for, but how about we hear from Duke on
my right and continue around clockwise?”
“I’m also thankful for all of you. I’d
have to put Sheila number one and Carl number two
without slighting either Josie or Deuce. It’s
hard to express my happiness the day that I
chased Deuce down and found out that Sheila was
the driver. What a thrill to be
reunited with my high school girlfriend that I
never got over. Carl has been my
companion for many years and despite of various
spats, what wonderful times we’ve had. He’s
so kind he lets no talent me sing along with him. You’re
on Deuce.”
“What a year it’s been for me. Elong
Pike took me on a tour of the solar system with
his newest rocket. He had all the
Disney characters aboard as well as the cast of
the latest “Cats” revival. That
Donald Duck is such fun, but all the Cats were
afraid of Pluto the Disney dog. Pluto
was very sympathetic to the Plutonians who
complained about their planet’s downgrade to
a minor status by Earth. On to Sheila,
my number one.”
The other two cars did their version of confused
mumbling and Sheila whispered to Duke “We’d
better get Deuce checked out. It
sounds like his programming caught the Pike virus.” Then
she addressed the group.
“I love all of you guys. If I
could change one thing, I’d wish Duke wasn’t
so insecure. Don’t ever doubt my
love. Besides all of you, I’m
happy about the near disappearance – sorry
about my small petrol habit – of fossil
fuels and the damage that they cause. That
along with world population decline means that we
humans may not destroy the world in the next
fifty years as was once expected. Your
turn Carl.”
“Duke and I have had our troubles over time,
but like all close friends we’ve been able
to work them out. Despite me being
superior in most ways the rest chuckle he’s
the one that organized our trips including our
English holiday. The rest of you have
become family to me – but in a good way.”
Duke interrupted “Is everyone getting the
message from Eugene Springfield?”
They all assented.
After the message Duke said “We’re
invited Eugene Springfield’s Washington
estate for Christmas. Woo-hoo.”
“I’m sorry I interrupted you, Carl. Do
you have any other praise for yourself and
insults for me?”
“No need Duke, your faults and my talents
are well known. How about we do a sing
along now? You can lip sync.”
After an hour of singing, the humans returned to
the house to celebrate more, Josie and Carl went
to their private passion park, and Deuce studied
ancient religions.
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