Te-choco-logically
Speaking
by Oonah V
Joslin
Nancy clicked
every button she could see: saved, deleted,
recently deleted, My Documents, Shared Networks,
Shared Location, My Pictures, My Videos, uPSP8Files,
Video Works Plus, some funny red & white
squiggly symbol +335.
“This is
useless. You’re sure you didn’t delete
it?”
“I
didn’t delete it.”
“You’re
sure?”
“I
didn’t delete anything you didn’t ask
me to delete.”
“You’re
very certain about that because…”
“How many
times?”
“You
swear?”
“On…a
stack of Bibles.”
“I
don’t believe you.”
“Okay
then, hand on heart I did not delete
file CC3, okay.?”
“You
don’t have a heart.”
“Okay,
what? On Bill Gates - on Apple then…
Babbage, whatever - I didn’t delete the
damned file!”
“I
don’t trust you. What about those other
files that just disappeared?”
“Which
files?”
“The ones
that just disappeared - last week.”
“No files
have ever just disappeared!”
“Yes they
have. They were in a folder labelled BLUES.”
“You
transferred those to a Brain-Box.”
“I did?”
“Yes.
And then you deleted them from my hard drive.”
“Which
Brain-Box?”
“How
should I know? You’ll just have to go
through them! Why don’t you label
things properly? And why can’t you
ever stick to a system?”
“I
thought the whole point of Voice-Word was to make
computers more user-friendly. Instead, I
end up with an argumentative incompetent who
can’t even find the recipe for triple
chocolate, chocolate cake.”
“Triple
chocolate, chocolate cake?”
“Yes!”
“Why
didn’t you say so? That’s in My
Favourites. You need to go online. If
you’d said…”
“You like
chocolate cake?”
“No - I
don’t even have a mouth! What would I
do with chocolate cake?”
“Want
suggestions?”
“That was
rhetorical.”
“You know
for someone without a mouth you’ve a lot to
say!”
“You know
for someone without a memory, so do you!”
“Huh -
smart-ass!”
“Airhead!”
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