Signs of Aging
by Gwen Boswell
So many of us lead busy
lives these days; the hours become days, the days
become weeks and the weeks, blah, blah, blah.
Every New Year, those of us that are no longer
children, or pregnant, or have a planned exciting
holiday think, where has that year gone? We
sometimes don’t even notice that there is
all this important stuff happening to us, and
around us and we may need to adjust. We should
find time to take stock because be assured, there
are signs and these are often glaringly obvious
with the benefit of hindsight.
Signs that we are getting
old are many and various. We know that when
doctors, teachers and policemen etc., begin to
look like high school students to us, this is a
sure sign we are getting on. Another obvious sign
is not being able to read a book without glasses,
and no, it’s not just poor light, or your
arms not being long enough, or 8-pitch formatting.
We may also wonder why people keep shouting at us
when they are not even angry.
Some signs of aging are
subtler though; we notice that we fancy the
fathers rather than the sons, and where we once
used the adjective ‘hot’ in respect to
men, we now tend to use when describing how we
like our cocoa and water bottle. Mind you, dad
may not have rock hard abs any longer, but he’s
attractively distinguished and there is that look
of kindness around the eyes – in between the
creases.
We start selecting
different types of magazines from those we have
purchased for years. We notice magazine front
covers that have leads that seem to tantalise and
tease us until we have to buy the magazine to
read the exciting and interesting articles
alluded to on the cover. Articles such as, "Haemorrhoids
and the common cold, are they connected?"
Hmmm, what an interesting theory. "You too
can save money on fuel." That sounds good
too; I can then stuff my mattress with all the
savings, or put it in the Post Office for a rainy
day. "How to make a cheery quilt to keep you
warm on those cold winter nights." Great, I
can do that while I’m watching Songs of
Praise. Can you see the difference? A few years
ago, you would have read the magazine that
explained how to catch hot blooded men to keep
you warm on etc, etc. Alas, magazines with those
sort of articles are no longer for you, but for
young people. Publishers of magazines do not
intend when they include scantily clad models on
their front covers that someone should look at
them and wonder if, when the lovely model washes
her smalls, (probably in a tea cup too, rather
than a sink), there is enough material in any one
garment to actually enable the deft skill of
pegging the said clothing to the line.
With the aging process in
mind, be mindful with what you wear too. If some
smart alec of a shop assistant has convinced you
to purchase an outfit that you were considering
was perhaps a tad too young for you, just have a
glance at your teenage daughter when you have it
on at home. She may not want to hurt your
feelings, but just see if she blushes or raises
her eyebrows, some discreet sign like that when
you have it on. If you have a teenage son, his
advice will probably be slightly more direct and
on seeing you in the outfit, he may say something
like, "Blimey mum, going tarting?" This
would be a sure sign that your gut instinct in
the shop was correct and the shop assistant
should be ashamed of herself for taking advantage
of vulnerable little old ladies.
To save embarrassing
yourself and your children, you have to try and
remain alert when it comes to your personal sense
of style. Signs that you are losing your grip
could be you stating, actually out loud, so that
someone may hear you, that fashion was great in
the 70’s. This is not true - only old people
think this, so be warned and shut up. Hot pants
too were a shocking fashion mistake, unless of
course you happen to be a male between the ages
of 13 and 110 where debate on this subject is
quite common.
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