Pit Stop
by Oonah V
Joslin
Eve’s Bar
wasn’t in the middle of nowhere, it was
somewhere close to the edge. Only two vehicles
were parked this late on Christmas Eve and their
owners were the only customers. One was elderly
and obese. The other, a swarthy middle aged man
with white stubble, spoke.
‘Nice
suit.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Looks
like we’re in the same game… Stopped
for a break?’
‘A quick
breather, yes.’
The
conversation fizzled out and he tried again
‘Come far?’
‘You
could say… You?’
‘Been to
Alpha Geldera and back.’
‘Really?
What for?’
‘Deliveries,
you know…’
‘That far,
eh?’
‘Oh,
it’s a regular trip. Ever been there?’
‘Alpha…
Geldera?’
‘Yes.’
‘No.’
‘Oh. You
want to get in on that. It’s like bloody
Christmas all year round.’
‘You
don’t say?’
‘Oh, yeah!
The Gelderans are great folk. One long party!
Plenty of everything, you know?’
He winked but
the older man just nibbled a mince pie.
‘Nice
looking rig you got there.’
‘It’s
vintage but I’m fond of it.’
‘I
like… the livery.’
‘Thank
you. Your’s is the silver?’
‘Yes,
that’s my beauty.’
‘It’s
very… shiny.’
‘Brand
spankin’ new, mate. Cost me eighty thousand
Geldera Spondools and a case or two of Protilieal
Sherbognac.’
‘That’s…
a lot.’
‘Well you
get what you pay for. It goes nine tenths light
speed. That’s how come I’m at the top
of my tree.’
‘I see.
Nice view from there, is there?’
‘Hohoho!
Good one, mate! Nice view I like that.
Name’s Kris, by the way.’ The two shook
hands amicably. ‘Say old timer, can I get
you a drink?’
‘A small
dry sherry perhaps.’
‘Whatever
you say… Barman?’
The old man
thought a drink worth an ounce of civility.
‘What’s she run on then, your silver
machine?’
‘Plasma
fusion reaction with solar sail backup and
organics composite converter cells. Yours?’
‘Reindeer.’
‘Reindeer?’
‘It’s
traditional.’
‘Not very
efficient though, surely. No wonder you don’t
do the Galdera run. I didn’t think anybody
used reindeer any more.’
‘I do.’
‘Why?’
‘’Cos
they’re the real thing - like me.’
‘Where
are they now, these reindeer?’
‘I always
set them loose grazing while I snack. Rudy will
come when I whistle.’
‘Mmmm…Well,
it was real nice talking to you but it’s
time I was on my way, Santa…?’
‘Claus.
Mind how you go, son.’
Outside the
forecourt was empty but for one shiny silver,
streamlined vehicle, a sleek, bright sleigh and a
uniformed figure busy trying to find registration
marks on either.
‘Say, you
in the uniform, you a law enforcer?’
‘I am.’
‘Better
get yourself in there… That old guy thinks
he’s really Santa Claus!’
Kris got into
his silver bullet and sped off into the night sky
and just afterwards the old man left the Bar.
‘I say,
officer did you see that man who just left?’
‘Don’t
say he took off with your wallet?’
‘No, but
I am a bit worried. He seemed to think he was
capable of space travel.’
The old gent
gave a low whistle. In the twinkling of an eye a
team of reindeer appeared from nowhere and the
whole shebang disappeared way faster than light
speed, sending a magical trail of sparks
cascading to the ground.
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