Keyboard Licence
Test
by Amit
Parmessur
Last March as
Boob— ooops* Bob had finished his tedious
university studies he sent a few lazy letters of
application upon the behest of his miserly father.
It had to happen:
he’s called for a very peculiar test a few
days after. A Keyboard Licence Test. Yes
you’ve read it right. A Keyboard Licence
Test from an IT company. Of course in university
he’d more time for his keyboard keys than
for the pages of his books.
What is the colour
of the sky? The answer is too easy**. That’s
how the test was for Bob. Many prospective
candidates for the job were sweating profusely
and Bob could only laugh profusely at them and
devoured the questions as delicious Mars
chocolates. Here is a copy of the questionnaire
and Bob’s utterly intelligent answers.
Q1: What is
the key on the keyboard that tragically reminds
us we are mortals?
Ans: End.
Q2: Which
key tells you which alphabet has the longest tail?
Ans: @
Q3: What key
should never corrupt your mind if you’re
employed by our company?
Ans: Pause Break.
Q4: What is
the fastest key?
Ans: F1, for Formula 1.
Q5: What is
the astronaut’s favourite key on the
keyboard?
Ans: The space bar.
Q6: What is
the key usually associated to sim cards?
Ans: Insert.
Q7: What are
the keys used to represent bald gents on toilet
doors?
Ans: O as head, [] for neck and belly, / \ for
hands and || for legs.
Q8: What is
a sadistic prisoner’s favourite key?
Ans: Escape.
Q9: Which key is
supposed to remind you of the famous Obelix?
Ans: *
Q10: What’s
the keyboard version of ‘destiny’?
Ans: F8.
Q11: What is a
caged but pampered bird’s most hated key?
Ans: Escape.
Q12: What are the
3 consecutive keys for the French definition of a
Casanova?
Ans: SDF (Sans Demoiselle Fixe).
Q13: Which key
would enrage a boy who’s sweetly fallen in
love with the next door girl?
Ans: Shift
Q14: What is the
key loved most by first aiders on the keyboard?
Ans: +
Q15: What are the
keys that tell us that there are 2 types of
inflated footballs?
Ans: O ()
Q16: The key about
what Picsou (or Pic$ou) cannot do when he sees
money?
Ans: Control.
Q17: The most
courteous key that pays respect to people and
towns?
Ans: Caps Lock.
Q18: The 2 keys a
traffic policeman shouldn’t use for the
safety of road users.
Ans: Up & Down Arrow Keys.
Q19: The key
that is envied by a homeless drunkard.
Ans: Home.
Q20: Which keys
indicate how you should always feel when the
company hands you your monthly salary, no matter
how little.
Ans: :-)
Bob was proudly
and duly employed, being awarded 19 over 20. He
couldn’t understand, however, which answer
was wrong and what type of job was expected of
him and his expert computer skills.
*
interjection showing I made a mistake or slipped
unintentionally
** not difficult
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