Chicken on a
Toothpick
by Lisa Workman
Have you ever
thought about what a dairy cow does when she has
an annoying itch behind her ear? I had never
entertained such a thought until today. I saw a
cow scratching her ear with one of her rear legs,
and it was one of the funniest sights I have ever
seen. Who knew cows had such flexibility and
balance? I am not saying it was a pretty sight.
It was actually rather disgusting: a clear view
of her utters flopping out into the open wind (and
to my benefit, pointing toward the road). With
every flick of the hoof relieving that itchy ear,
it was like a giant bowl of light pink Jello
juggling and sloshing for all passersby to see. I
wanted to tell her to learn some self-respect…
not everyone deserves to see that!
What everyone
does deserve is free samples. Hit up a mall food
court sometime. You can score multiple pieces of
chicken teriyaki on toothpicks and tiny solo cups
filled with strawberry banana smoothie all in one
place – at no cost! I wonder how many
samples the sample gods would bestow upon a
single person if he or she kept walking by. (My
personal record is six, but I would like to hear
other accounts).
Speaking of
accounts, how many accounts do you have on the
Internet? How many social networking sites does
one person really need to belong to? I know the
story: “This one’s for blogging, that
one’s for music, this one is where I put up
pictures, that one is where I look for jobs, and
those other two are what I do in my spare time.”
When will it stop? I bookmark one more and start
adding all of the same people I am
“friends” with on four other sites.
Maybe I’ll message them on this one.
Isn’t it
amazing how we are now able to send a message
across the globe in one second? Messages were
once delivered on horseback, taking days to reach
a recipient a few hundred miles away. Well, we
know why it wasn’t cowback; I don’t
imagine the postman would have been able to
balance himself when she lifted her leg to
scratch that itch.
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