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Charlie's Amazing Bathing Suit
by Michael A. Kechula

Charlie was certain he invented a shark-repellent bathing suit. After dipping his polka dot bathing suit in a mixture of chicken soup and dill pickle juice, he put it on, then jumped into the most dangerous shark-infested area of the Pacific.

Within minutes, ten great white sharks sensed his presence and raced toward him. The moment they spotted his bathing suit, they screamed and swam away at top speed. Later that day, the Coast Guard found their carcasses floating on the surface. Autopsies indicated the sharks had been scared to death.

BBC offered Charlie a million euros to repeat the test on live television. The event was advertised around the clock for a week in advance.

On the appointed day, Charlie jumped into the ocean wearing his amazing bathing suit. Billions of TV watchers held their breath as underwater cameras showed dozens of great whites rushing toward Charlie. Everyone cheered when the sharks screamed, broke off their attack, and headed in the opposite direction.

The next day, BBC televised Charlie’s funeral.

Nobody knew Loch Ness Monsters considered polka dot bathing suits dipped in chicken soup and dill pickle juice as gourmet treats, and that they’d swim thousands of miles just to eat one.