Career Choices
by Michael A. Kechula
When a
government official visited the orphanage,
all the children were lined up for inspection. As
the official passed each child, he asked,
“What do you want to be someday?”
"A nurse,"
said a girl, “so I can help sick people.”
“Marvelous.
You’re very kind and thoughtful.”
The next kid
said, “Policeman.”
“Wonderful.
We’ll always need brave police officers to
protect us.”
The official
approached Billy. “And what do you want to
be someday?”
“A pizza.”
“How Odd!
Why a pizza?”
“Nobody
loves me. But everybody loves pizza.”
“He’s
a lunatic!” said the official to the
orphanage director. “No sense squandering
taxpayer money on the likes of him. Abandon him
in the forest.”
The director removed
Billy’s ORPHAN T-shirt. He gave Billy a new
one with larger letters that read, LUNATIC.
Putting Billy
on a helicopter, they took him to a
dense forest.
Next day,
Billy awoke when a fluffy tail tickled his face.
“What’s
a lunatic?” asked a chipmunk, pointing
to Billy’s T-shirt.
“I think
it's somebody who wastes tax payers’ money.”
“What
else are you, besides a lunatic?”
“A boy.
But I wanna be a pizza.”
“Why?”
“I wanna
be loved.”
“What
kinda pizza do you wanna be?”
“Pepperoni.”
“Well,
you came to the right place,” the chipmunk
said. “Stand under that magic tree.”
When Billy was
under the tree, the chipmunk chanted strange words.
In seconds, Billy changed into a freshly baked
pepperoni pizza.
The chipmunk
whistled to his relatives. As they raced toward
him, he shouted, “Look what we have.”
“Wow!” yelled
the relatives. “Pepperoni Pizza!
Our favorite!”
Between burps,
each chipmunk loudly affirmed its undying love
for pizza.
I’m
finally loved, Billy mused, as a cute girl-chipmunk
sank her razor-sharp teeth into the last morsel.
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