A Wonderful Bird
by Michael A. Kechula
“I just
landed on Mars,” Harry told Houston Mission
Control via wrist radio.
Sunspots
blocked Houston’s reply.
When Harry
left his spaceship to plant a flag and claim Mars
for his nation, Martians grabbed him. They took
him to the Emperor’s palace.
Scrutinizing
Harry, the Emperor asked, “What is this
strange looking creature?”
“We think
it is a bird from another planet,” said an
advisor.
Harry figured
he better hop around and whistle like a bird. His
performance was so convincing, the Emperor
applauded and said, “What a wonderful bird.
I want him for a pet.”
Harry was fed,
bathed, groomed, and allowed to run loose through
the Emperor’s magnificent palace.
Days later, as
he lollygagged in the Emperor’s well-stocked
harem, he radioed Houston.
“Life’s
fantastic here. I’m treated like the
Emperor’s favorite pet. I’m giving you
two week’s notice that I’m resigning
from the Space Agency. Tell my family that
I’m never coming back.”
Huston
responded, “Martian’s love (garbled)
pets.”
“Please
repeat,” Harry said. “Your message was
garbled.”
Sunspots
blocked Huston’s retransmissions.
When Martians
tossed Harry onto blazing charcoals, he realized
the missing words in Huston’s message were:
TO EAT.
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