Weather-Related
Petitionary Prayer Could Cause Environmental
Catastrophes, Warn Scientists
Controversy surrounding
weather management for the recent British Royal
Wedding has reignited debate about the effect of
petitionary prayer on global weather systems.
London’s forecasted
weather for the Royal Wedding day had been poor.
Unofficial Palace sources report that John Hirst,
Chief Executive of the Met Office, was therefore
summoned to Buckingham Palace on the evening
before the wedding. It is alleged the Queen
intimated that a CBE could be awarded to him if
the weather was favourable on the day.
To the extreme displeasure
of Her Majesty, Mr Hirst reportedly explained
that the Met Office attempted to predict weather,
but was unable to control it. Unconfirmed reports
claim that he was subsequently ejected, head
first, from a tradesmen’s entrance at the
rear of the Palace.
The same sources indicate
that, later that evening, the Archbishop of
Canterbury was summoned for a Royal Audience. It
is alleged that, as a result of his deliberations
with Her Majesty, petitionary prayers were
offered for good weather on the day of the Royal
Wedding.
It is a matter of public
record that conditions were consequently perfect
for the royal occasion, contrary to prior
forecasts.
As Head of the Church of
England, it is traditionally considered “bad
form” for Her Majesty to exploit her close
association with God to elicit personal climatic
favours. Indeed, the current Pope prides himself
on never having similarly abused his analogous
position. ‘The Catholic Church may have
protected paedophiles,’ Pope Benedict XVI is
famously quoted as saying, ‘but I have never
tried to influence the weather.’
In fact, there is some
evidence that individual priests may have
attempted to do so, but that these were quietly
moved to other parishes.
Given the significance of
the Royal Wedding, few would blame Her Majesty
for not leaving the weather to chance. Her
alleged actions, however, have once more brought
to public attention the wider implications of
petitionary prayer for the global climate.
‘The key difficulty
for meteorologists is the manner in
which petitionary prayer affects weather systems,’
explained Gael Force, a spokesperson for the
European Climate Monitoring Agency. ‘At any
given time, an unknown number of individuals and
religious groups are invoking supernatural
influences to modify the weather, often for
different outcomes. It has therefore proven
impossible to conduct controlled scientific
experiments to evaluate the effect of any one
approach. We can only speculate upon the complex
effects on global weather systems caused by large
numbers of uncoordinated and contradictory
petitions.’
‘An additional
complication in determining cause and effect,’
Ms Force admitted, ‘is the, so called,
“butterfly effect”. This states that
weather systems, in accordance with chaos theory,
are highly sensitive to initial conditions. The
movement of a butterfly’s wing on one side
of the world could lead to a storm system on the
other. Fortunately, international programmes to
control butterfly numbers appear to have gone
some way to limit this unpredictability.’
In relation to petitionary
prayer, anecdotal evidence suggests that certain
individuals or groups may inexplicably exert a
greater influence than others on God’s
meteorological plans, although they themselves
may be unaware of that effect.
The prayers offered on 11th
March 2011 by the Fukushima surfing club in Japan
for magnificent surfing waves, and the prayers
offered on 27th April 2011 by Maria Gonzales of
Alabama, USA for a good breeze to dry her washing
have been cited as examples. It is, of course,
possible that the subsequent tsunami and
tornadoes were coincidental. In the absence of
certainty, however, international climate
monitoring organisations advise that very great
caution be exercised by all believers in their
use of meteorological supplications.
In a recent briefing to a
US congressional hearing, Professor Grace
Benediction of NASA’s Prayer Research
Facility at Caltech expanded on the difficulties
God, Himself, must experience when receiving
weather-related petitions. ‘A major problem
for the Deity,’ Professor Benediction
explained, ‘is the imprecision of most
requests. Favourable or good conditions are often
sought with no clear indication for God of
precisely what is required. Most petitionary
prayers,’ added Professor Benediction,
‘have traditionally been weak in defining
SMART objectives.’
She noted that modern
Pagans and Druids had been the first to adopt
clear guidelines for weather-related petitionary
prayers. ‘Such intercessions must now
include the specific geographical location,
required periods of sunshine, desired
temperatures, wind speeds, wind directions, and
estimated levels of precipitation,’ she
confirmed.
Professor Benediction
cautioned, however, that adoption of such
precision could bring problems of its own.
‘If every member of a faith congregation
prayed for a 5 mph breeze, for example,’ she
speculated, ‘it isn’t clear whether
this would increase the likelihood of a 5 mph
breeze, or whether the requested wind-speed would
be multiplied by the number in the congregation.
In the latter scenario,’ she postulated,
‘a large congregation, each praying for a 5
mph breeze, could produce a cumulative wind-speed
comparable to those on Jupiter.’
‘Many scientists now
believe,’ confirmed Professor Benediction,
concluding her evidence to the congressional
hearing, ‘that all the effects currently
attributed to global warming could be caused by
imprecise and uncoordinated weather-related
petitionary prayers. It is certainly true that
the most catastrophic climate-related disasters
occur in areas of the world where faith
communities are strongest.’
In the light of the above
uncertainties, the US government's advice to all
religious individuals and communities is not to
petition God to provide specific weather
conditions until the effects are much more
clearly understood and safety protocols can be
devised.
Buckingham Palace has
declined to officially comment on any influence
brought to bear upon London’s weather on the
day of the Royal Wedding.
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