The Self-Indulgents
‘Today on The
Music Show we’ll be talking about the
biggest band of the 70s, 80s and 90s, The
Self-Indulgents. With me in the studio is
their legendary lead guitarist, Fret Capo.
Welcome Fret. Thanks for joining us.’
‘Hi. It’s great
to be here.’
‘The Self-Indulgents
were unusual, both in line-up and song writing.’
‘That’s right.
The band was composed of two couples, like Abba,
but all four of us wrote the songs.’
‘There was you and
Melody, and then Clef and Harmony.’
‘Yes.’
‘The four of you had
more number one hits than any other band in
history. Why do you think that was?’
‘We all went through
tough times, and our lyrics distilled the
emotions of those real human experiences. I think
people were able to relate to that.’
‘Your first hit was We’re
Having a Great Time.’
‘That was just after
the band formed.’
‘But problems soon
emerged.’
‘Unfortunately.’
‘When did you first
notice that something was wrong?’
‘It was when
Melody’s song reached number one in the
States.’
‘You mean I’m
Shagging Clef?’
‘It may sound strange,
but while we were recording it, I never really
focused on the significance of Melody’s
lyrics.’
‘Other classic hits
followed.’
‘That’s right. My
song, You Bitch, I’m Shagging Harmony
Now, reached the top of both the UK and US
charts. It was only ousted to number two by
Harmony’s rock anthem, Lesbian Sex with
Melody is Better Than with Either of You Two
Bastards.’
‘In fact, the band was
soon to have three singles at the top of both
charts with the release of Clef’s great
ballad.’
‘That’s true. I’ll
Be Buggering Fret, Tonight gave us those top
three slots.’
‘Then drugs became an
issue for the band, didn’t they?’
‘We started using pot
and cocaine. Then we couldn’t find a dealer
to sell us any.’
‘Why not?’
‘I’m not sure.
Some say it was a verse in my next hit.’
‘The one that went:
“I’m gonna score some great cocaine
From Leroy Jones, that man
Who lives at 19, Gasworks Lane,
SO4 9AN.
Or I might get some top class weed.
It’s great, I sure can tell ya.
He grows it in a secret room
Down there in his own cellar.”’
‘Just after that song
hit the top of the charts on both sides of the
Atlantic, Leroy got arrested for manufacturing
and dealing class A drugs. After that, we
couldn’t get another supplier, and Leroy was
going to be in prison for twenty-five years.’
‘Things got tougher
for Melody when Harmony broke up with her and
went back to Clef.’
‘It was hard, but I
admire the way she channelled her negative
emotions into creative energy.’
‘You mean the duet she
wrote that once again put you both at the top of
the charts?’
‘We got a platinum
disc for I’ve Butchered Harmony and Clef
and Buried Them Under Fret’s Patio,
before Mel had to leave the band.’
‘But that wasn’t
the end of The Self-Indulgents was it,
as you’ve now launched your own solo career?’
‘That’s right.’
‘It’s nearly the
end of the show, but we’ve just time for
Fret to perform his latest single.’
‘Many thanks. This
song is called I’m Just an Aging Rock
Star Cashing-in on Past Success…’
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