The Community
Centre
George and Mavis were
updating the whiteboard on which room bookings
for the community centre were listed. The vast
array of clubs, societies and other activities
displayed upon it was a testimony to the vibrancy
of village life. There was something for every
interest.
‘From now on, we
can’t have the cake making class at the same
time as the Slimming World meeting,’
concluded Mavis. ‘The smell of baking drifts
from the kitchen into the hall where the simmers
meet. Last week, one slimmer couldn’t take
it any more. She ran out of the meeting and,
before anyone could stop her, she’d eaten an
entire chocolate gateaux that had been left to
cool.’
‘People don’t
realise how difficult it is to schedule all these
activities,’ responded George. ‘I
didn’t think there’d be a problem in
having that wine tasting in the main hall while
Alcoholics Anonymous met in the meeting room.’
‘That was
unfortunate,’ agreed Mavis. ‘We lost a
regular booking there, after everyone in the
meeting room moved to the main hall, finished off
the wine and voted to disband the AA group.’
‘It was a great party,
though,’ recalled George.
Mavis relocated the
slimming group to follow Tai Chi on Monday.
‘Which other activities have we got to fit
into the programme, next week?’ she asked.
George looked through the
pile of booking requests. ‘There’s the
Carnivorous Reptile Health Clinic,’ he
replied.
‘They could use the
meeting room on Tuesday at 2.00 pm,’ said
Mavis. ‘Opps, no they can’t,’ she
corrected herself on further inspection of the
whiteboard. ‘The children’s Hamster,
Gerbil and Guinea pig Show is on in the main hall
at that time. Better to be safe than sorry.’
‘Oh yes,’
remembered George, ‘that’s why we didn't
book the Cat Protection League’s grooming
demonstrations into the meeting room, then.’
‘I moved the cats'
session to be at the same time as the UROC,
whatever that is,’ confirmed Mavis.
‘I think it stands for
“Untrained Rottweiler Obedience Class”,’
George ventured.
‘Shit,’ responded
Mavis, reaching for the whiteboard eraser.
‘What’s “Yew”?’ she
asked, noting the word in the Wednesday 5.00 pm
slot.
‘It’s the
Woodland Trust,’ said George.
‘They’re having a talk on the yew tree.’
‘Isn’t the
Amateur Dramatic Society rehearsing the pantomime
on Wednesday?’ asked Mavis.
‘Yes, we must write
that on the whiteboard,’ recalled George,
‘but that’s at 3.00 pm, so it’s
behind yew.’
‘Oh no it isn’t,’
asserted Mavis, remembering that pantomime
rehearsals were always in the evening.
‘Oh yes it is,’
countered George. ‘They’ve got an early
rehearsal next week.’
‘The Savings and
Investments Group want to meet on Thursday
morning,’ said George, reading their booking
request. ‘That doesn’t clash with the
Anti-capitalist Protest Group again, does it?’
‘The Anti-capitalists
don’t meet here any more since that dispute
about room hire charges,’ said Mavis.
‘They said we were agents of a corrupt and
oppressive economic system, and that they were
victims of the iniquitous, structural
inequalities of our fiscal policies.’
‘What was that about?’
George enquired.
‘They objected to
being charged £6.00 an hour,’ clarified
Mavis, ‘when the Housebound Pensioners’
Luncheon Club only pays £5.50.’
George and Mavis continued
to fill gaps on the whiteboard.
‘Just two slots left
next week, both at 10.00 am on Saturday,’
observed George, finally, ‘and, by
coincidence, there are exactly two booking
requests left!’
Mavis stood next to the
whiteboard, pen poised over the remaining vacant
slots. ‘Who are those for?’ she asked.
‘There’s the
Evangelical, Fundamentalist, Creationist Group
and . . .’ George picked up the final form,
‘the Richard Dawkins Appreciation Society.’
George and Mavis looked at
each other and sighed.
‘It’s taken two
hours to schedule all these activities to avoid
conflicts,’ said Mavis. ‘I’m not
altering it all. It’s like a rubix cube, if
we change one booking, we’ll have to change
all the rest to make it work again.’
‘We’ll just have
to leave those last two bookings at the same time,’
concluded George.
Mavis stepped back and
surveyed the whiteboard. ‘It’ll be OK,’
she said, thoughtfully. ‘If the worst comes
to the worst, the booking afterwards is a Red
Cross first aid refresher, and the one after that
is the Furniture Restoration Group.
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