Staying In
Africa
One hundred thousand years
ago in a parallel universe, Ugg looked out across
an African plain.
He had no way of knowing
that his tribe, comprising less than five hundred
homo sapiens, contained the only highly advanced
intelligent life on the planet. He could not have
conceived that his group included the only
creatures with the potential to progress from
hunter-gatherer expeditions to journeys to the
stars.
Ugg spoke to the assembled
tribe elders. ‘We’re here today to
discuss the plan proposed by my brother, Ogg, to
leave this place and explore what lies beyond our
ancestral lands.’
The group muttered and
murmured, then Igg spoke. ‘Why should we go
anywhere? The weather’s good. We’ve all
the food we need, and our numbers remain constant
from generation to generation.’
‘Yes,’ concurred
Agg, ‘it’s nice here.’
‘I though it might be
fun to have a bit of adventure,’ explained
Ogg. ‘We could have a continuing mission to
explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life
and new civilizations and to boldly go where no
one has gone before.’
‘Grapes and grain
might not grow properly beyond the mountains,’
said Ugg. ‘Now that Agg has discovered how
to ferment alcohol, I’d miss getting rat-arsed
most days.’
‘And Igg’s
cannabis makes me feel like I’m flying over
the mountains,’ joked Agg, ‘so
what’s the point in wearing myself out
walking over the real thing?’
The elders all laughed.
‘I suppose you’re
right,’ conceded Ogg. ‘Spreading out
would just make life complicated. If we split
into other tribes, we’d probably just end up
fighting.’
‘We’re all agreed,
then,’ concluded Ugg, ‘we’ll just
stay in Africa.’
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Today in the same parallel
universe, Ugg’s modern descendent, Ugga,
looked out across that same African plain.
‘D’you want a
beer?’ said his brother, Ogga.
‘No thanks,’ Ugga
replied, ‘I think I’ll roll another
joint.’
Agga joined them, and they
all watched the sun as it set behind the
mountains. ‘Do you ever wonder what lies
beyond those hills?’ he asked.
‘Nope,’ replied
Ugga and Ogga in unison.
‘Neither do I,’
agreed Agga… ‘It’s nice staying in
Africa.’
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