The Afterlife
Ramesses the Second gazed
from his palace balcony upon myriad workers
cultivating the fertile banks of the Great River.
It had been more than three thousand
years since his entombment, and he had never
ceased to reflect with admiration on the
accuracy with which Imhotep had described the
funerary practices required to reach this
Afterlife.
Ramesses had shared the
sacred Kingdom of the Dead with Egyptians who had
lived before him, and those who had come after,
until more than a thousand years after the death
of his mortal body. Then, suddenly and without
explanation, new arrivals had ceased.
Two thousand mysterious
years had then passed without the Dead bringing
news from the World Below..........until the
arrival of Arthur.
Arthur had been born in
England in the second half of the twentieth
century and had been enthusiastic in his New Age
beliefs. It was with such an open-minded yet
uncritical outlook that he had visited the
monuments of ancient Egypt. Perhaps it had been
due to the inspirational beauty and grandeur of
the tombs and temples; perhaps it had been due to
standing in the sun too long without a hat on.
Whatever the cause, Arthur had developed his
latest unshakeable belief: The Pharaohs had
understood the truth about the nature of life and
death. This conviction had no more of a rational
basis than the other odd beliefs for which he was
renowned. Ironically, however, he was absolutely
right.
On his return home he
excavated his back garden and began to
construct a pyramid. After ten years he had
created a tomb faithful to the Egyptian Book of
the Dead.
Shortly after decorating
the final hieroglyph, he contracted a minor
ailment, easily cured by prescription medication.
Arthur, however, had complete faith in
homeopathic remedies and the healing power of
crystals and so had died. His aunt Mary, though
sharing none of Arthur’s beliefs, was fond
of her nephew and was determined to follow to the
letter his detailed burial instructions. Thus was
Arthur mummified according to ancient Egyptian
tradition and entombed in his pyramid with
correct ceremony. With him were goods for the
Afterlife, including his computer games console,
TV and the car in which Arthur planned to journey
to the Kingdom of the Dead.
Ramesses recalled the day
when the rising sun, for the first time in two
thousand years, had been bisected by flashes of
white lightning. Arthur had entered the Afterlife
at the wheel of his Ford Cortina. The sound of
its backfire had overpowered the thunder, and the
smoke from its exhaust had obscured the sun.
It had fallen to Arthur, as
the last entrant to the Afterlife, to
transport the Sun God, Amun, in his daily journey
across the heavens. Ramesses glanced upwards. The
radiance of the god obscured the outline of
Arthur’s Cortina. Just the bangs from the
backfiring and the sun’s smoky wake betrayed
Amun’s new chariot.
Ramesses reflected sadly on
the demise of the Pharaohs. At least he now knew
why no more souls entered the Afterlife. He had
Arthur to thank for that, and, as he sat down on
his throne and reached for the TV remote, he also
had him to thank for the loan of the games
console.
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