The Perfect
Citizen
by Bruce
Costello
“Normotic Personality
Disorder originates in an excessive desire to be
normal.”
“Would you mind
explaining?” John asks.
“In your case,”
Dr Fehler continues, “it manifests in a
materialistic approach to life and a
preoccupation with purchasing the latest gadgets.
It stems from unconscious inadequacy and a need
for peer acceptance.”
“Girls say I’m
abnormal.”
“On the contrary.
Being normotic means being more normal than
normal.”
“Is it anything like
being robotic?”
“Indeed yes!”
John nods.
Dr Fehler smiles. “Your
material focus has gained you complete mastery
over inner subjectivity. You are incapable of
emotionally driven behaviour. You are the perfect
citizen, free from any temptation towards
irrational impulsivity.”
John thanks the doctor and
departs, still nodding.
Seeing the doctor’s
receptionist showing her butt crack as she bends
over the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet, John
reaches for his new solar-powered pocket cattle
prod.
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