The Lady Or The
Tiger
by Rick Tornello
“Good
people, Welcome, welcome, welcome to Heaven folks.
You made it. Just one thing to always keep in
mind: Follow all the rules and you’ll be
okay. They are posted everywhere so you don’t
have to guess. Your assigned quarters are in the
packets you’ve been given upon arrival. Go
to the color-coded doors that match your packets.
Enjoy and remember follow the rules. They will
let you know all you need to do to conduct
yourselves in any and every conceivable manner.
You don’t have to worry. You don’t have
to think. Just be. I’ll make everything
great and the best that can be.
Should you
have any questions the forms you need can be
accessed via the Cloud. It contains all and
everything that we believe you’ll ever need.
No need to question we do know it all and it’s
done for all of you. The login number code is
5551212.”
One other
thing, if you do screw up, and I can’t
imagine any three of you doing that, I can make
accommodations in other parts of my universe that
I have what I would call a trade agreement. But
we don’t want to go there, do we?
Heads shake in
agreement.
No? Good, I
didn’t think so. Well enjoy. See you around.
+++++
IN another
nonlinear non-time constrained location:
“Well
partners, welcome to Hell. I just got back from a
different orientation. Glad to be here. You lived
a full life and in all respects, you earned it.
There are no rules here, not one. Everyone can do
or do not as they damned well please. Speaking of
do nots there are drinks goodies to eat just
behind you.”
“As I
mentioned you’re on your own. Make your
alliance, your enemies as it comes…or goes.
That’s how it works here in hell.
By-the-way,
You all have free will within the constraints of
physics. Physics, is the basic underlying
principle of existence, nature or whatever word
you would use to describe it, and there’s no
way around it. Understand physics and you
understand me.
You’re
here. Do the best you are able, considering where
you are.
My staff will
drive you to your enclaves and our reception
members will give you a general orientation, maps
and such things as deemed necessary to survive.
But remember and listen to all they have to say.
It will be the first and last time anyone of any
authority like me or them,” and he points to
an army of winged giants both male and female,
“tells you what to do. You are on your own.”
“They,”
he points to his winged army again, “are
here to protect and serve…me.”
“Good
luck. We’ll catch up every now and then to
see how you’re all doing. You can call
on me, or any of my staff, but don’t count
on any real assistance. We may listen, nod our
heads in agreement or sympathy, but there’s
not much we can do at this point. But then again,
there are always exceptions. Remember the golden
rules: them that has the gold makes the rules.
That would be ME. However, if you don’t ask,
the answer is no.”
“If you
should die? Don’t worry, you’ll be back
at the starting gate and can do it all over and
over again. There’s no wrong or right. There
just is… forever. Remember this is Hell.
“See ya,
now how about a few jelly donuts and some dark
Italian brewed coffee. Or for those of you on a
different sleep schedule, some pizza and beer or
wine? It’s on the house.”
NOT QUITE THE
END
By,
RdotTornello ©
& The Village idiot Press
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