The flip side of
an early marriage and early children in today’s
‘progressive’ times
by Vijai Pant
I came to know
how in a modern, 21st century India, early
marriages and early children are raising eyebrows
in my interaction with a co-passenger in one of
my travels. This is what she had to share-
With my elder
daughter finding her soul mate and getting
married last year and my younger one all ready to
embark on higher studies, at my age, I’m
certainly quite ahead of the others in, what the
wise old people of yore called, ‘Life’s
Race’. And I also agree with their wisdom,
“God willing, by the time you kick the
bucket you’ll be able to see three
generations of yours.”
Of course,
these oldies were right in their observations,
but, at the same time, they failed to foresee an
India where late marriages will be the new normal,
delayed start to family de rigueur and DINK
culture proliferate so rapidly as to enter even
the small cities and townships.
Today, when
even the mangalsutra, bangles and sindoor which
would announce to the world your ‘status’
are increasingly being given the go by, I
continue to proudly flaunt such conspicuous
symbols. It follows then that I’m treated as
a relic of centuries gone by.
Moreover, when
people come to know how far ahead in ‘Life’s
Race’ I am, the guessing game really starts.
Till the time
I keep the landmarks of my married life to myself,
it’s all fine. Even if not exactly
classified as youthful, I’m certainly put in
the early forties and the accompanying epithets,
vivacious and lively, give me a good feel. The
world thinks I’m playing my age, and rightly
so.
However, it’s
my answers to some innocent queries about my
family which not only leaves the listeners
nonplussed, but also compels them to look at me
in new, perhaps fading, light and that too with a
reverence reserved for the silver haired.
People start
showering me with, what I initially presumed to
be praises. Their comments ranging from, “You
really take good care of yourself,” to
“Oh! How you maintain yourself,” as if
I was really over the hill. These remarks would
subtly give credit to all the anti-ageing
cosmetic weapons so successfully arresting my
advancing years. With women already very
notorious for carefully guarding their age, my
grown up children for them become the ‘give
away’. Keeping the signs of the times in
mind I don’t blame these people for their
error of judgment. But yes, in all such
situations my angels don’t come as a badge
of honour for me. On the contrary, they loudly
announce my age wrongly pushing me up a 50+
bracket.
Just the other
day I received the ‘good’ news of my
elder daughter being on the family way. I’m
very excited, but experience has taught me not to
go overboard in my elation, but to keep the news
to myself, and, at the most, my near and dear
ones.
After all, a
granny at 42 is not such a welcome idea in today’s
world. Is it?
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