Pickup Line Put
Down
by Tom Schmidt
Amber Jackson
was a striking 25-year-old blonde living in the
Greenwich Village area of New York City.
Over the years, she had learned that her
attractive appearance made her the natural target
of numerous men who often tried to connect with
her using some of the worst pick lines imaginable.
While these men were generally harmless,
their presence was often an embarrassment for
Amber as well as an annoyance. As a result,
the young woman started to go out more and more
with a group of her female work friends in hopes
that their presence would ward off the unwanted
suitors. This generally worked but it was
not always fool proof, as a recent Saturday
evening proved.
The “Common Ground” bar on Gansevoort
Street was pack on Saturday night. Drinks
were being served at a brisk rate and the dance
floor was buzzing with activity when Amber and
her friends arrived. And within a few
minutes, a young twenty-something male was eyeing
the attractive blonde, looking for an opportunity
to make his move.
“I value my breath, so it would be nice if
you didn’t take it away every time you walk
by!!”
“Huh??” Amber missed the come-on
from the young man and just looked perplexed.
“You know, there is something wrong with my
phone. It doesn’t have your number on
it…”
Amber smirked and tried to move away,
uninterested in the childish game the man was
playing. But the man surprised her by
extending his hand.
“Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said
you were looking for me.”
But before Amber could reply, the man used his
worst line of the night.
“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a
living.”
Amber now had her chance to rid herself of this
dolt. Smiling, she gave a short reply that
put an end to the entire charade:
“Well, actually, I’m a female
impersonator.”
And with that, she walked back to her friends….
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