Blang!
by Harris Tobias
Blang! God damn this ground is hard.
It’s like steel. The damn pick just bounces
off the permafrost? It’s like steel I tell
you.
Blang! You hear that? Steel. You try
digging in frigging permafrost. No one can.
Blang! And here it is freaking
Christmas eve. What the hell am I doing working
on Christmas eve anyway?
Blang! At this rate it will take a
week to dig the grave. Just look at the size of
that guy, will you? Just my luck to have to bury
a giant fatty.
Blang! There’s got to be a
better way. I wish I had some dynamite or some of
that High Explosive crap we use. That would make
short work of this job. Yeah, dream on. Like
anyone cares about making my job easier.
Blang! Who test fires a missile on
Christmas eve anyway? What, they don’t have
anything better to do? Don’t they have
families? Sure they have families. They’re
home with their families right now decorating the
tree and drinking freaking egg nog while I’m
out here freezing my ass off burying some fat guy.
It’s so not fair.
Blang! Will you look at that hole? I’ve
been banging away for almost an hour and I couldn’t
bury a frigging tea cup. Damn this ground is hard.
Blang! Well, I guess things could be
worse. They can always be worse, right? Never
better, only worse.
Blang!
Blang! Phewwww. Man this is hot work.
Look at that poor schmuck. Dead. Dead as a
doorknob. What the hell was he doing out on a
night like this anyway? Flying around in
restricted airspace is asking for trouble?
Blang! Well it could have been worse.
At least I don’t have to bury the freaking
reindeer.
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