Rejection and
Redemption
by Doug Hawley
Dear Jane
Simmons. Thank you for your wonderful
submission. We loved the pace, the
imagery, and the characters. This
could be turned into a blockbuster book and
movies series.
I swooned for the dashing Jorga. So
handsome, so romantic. He could be
tender and hot with Xenia. I blushed
at some of the dialogue and what I assumed
happened behind doors. He may have
worn Xenia out, but in a good way. I
could really identify with the way she adored him.
I don’t want to imply that the romance is
the only good part of your book. I
loved the adventure they had stowing away on a
freighter to aid the freedom fighters trying to
save Takanda from the Russians. I got
chills from the chapter that followed them
sneaking into the Russian base disguised as
soldiers. I cherish the scene of them
looking back at the base being destroyed in
flames and was warmed the toast given to them by
Takanda’s president as he presented them
with “Heroes Of Takanda” medals.
This brings me to the painful part of my decision. We
found a comma on page 197 which should have been
a semi-colon. On page 52 “Poughkeepsie”
was misspelled. Taken together these
lapses force up to decline your mostly excellent
book.
All is not lost! We would look upon a
slightly revised submission with great favor. Obviously,
you would first need to correct those two
egregious grammar errors. Second, we
ask you to make some minor changes to make your
story a better fit with our readership. Xenia
is not a character that resonates with our
audience. They appreciate a more
middle-American type, say fortyish and less
“ethnic”, perhaps less model beautiful. Maybe
forty-five, graying, five foot three, a hundred
and fifty pounds.
I look forward to reviewing your revised book
successfully. I’m predicting best
seller.
Julie Jones, Editor Exotic Romance
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