¾ - Probably
Part Of A Larger Piece
by Doug Hawley
As I get close
to ¾ of a century, I reflect.
The most
important thing in the reflection is that there
is nothing important there except for marrying
well.
I’m
continuously reminded of my age by so many things.
When I got my increasing gray and diminished hair
cut, the barber spent about as much time working
over my ears and eyebrows as my hair. Oh
yeah, eyebrows. My eyeball was itching for a
couple of days recently and despite my search for
an errant eyelash or head hair, I eventually
found that it was an eyebrow hair. AN
EYEBROW HAIR. At least that wasn’t as bad as
my old man flu during the Fourth Of July. Let’s
not think about the extra pounds.
Exciting job? Nope,
actuary. Military exploits. Nope, student
deferments. Athletic achievement? One home
run in an over forty league when an outfielder
played me cheap.
An earlier
reason for reflection was local author Cheryl
Strayed’s “Wild”. She hiked
the Pacific Crest Trail, wrote a best seller, and
had wild sex. Whereas I had nothing
published (at the time), had done some hiking,
and … . It made my life so
insignificant by comparison. At least I got
some payback by writing parodies of “Wild”
– “How To Write An Oprah Book”,
“Mild” and “Wildest”.
When I hear
about recent music or celebrities, my usual
review is “what, who?” What I can
hear, I don’t remember and what I can
remember, I don’t hear. I have no idea
what I had for breakfast, but can remember being
rejected fifty or sixty years ago.
If I’m in
my golden years, I hope things look better when I
get to titanium or platinum or whatever comes
next.
The real
bummer is that so many don’t get the chance
to bemoan their old age.
Short bio
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