NASA Pluto Probe
Discovers Oddly Familiar Tabloid
by Wallace
Runnymede
Andromeda
President:
I don’t
mind a few Milky Way types coming here the odd
time, within reason, but they should bloody well
accept the way we do things here!!!
Tearful
Plutonian claims:
My
grandchildren are afraid of Neptunians who speak
in senses they can’t understand!!!
Earth’s
illegitimate international community must be held
accountable to the cosmic community.
Does raw star
plasma cure cancer of the
hippabeeyowodippypipywopbopbop???
Stop ingesting
dark matter, it causes gibbagibagibbaipbampeep of
the domdomkop!!!
Are foreign
spongers from Mercury stealing our sulphur?
Too many of
our kids are learning useless soft subjects like
astral engineering, black hole management, and
anti-supernova protection.
Health wormhole
tourists are bankrupting Jupiter!
Our once-thriving
time travel and suspended-animation-space-odyssey industry is
being ruined by pointless, bureaucratic health and
safety diktats.
President of
Uranus warns: Alpha Centauri dictator
can launch hostile probe in just one million
years!!!
Also
published at glossynews.com: http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201507211053/nasa-probe-discovers-oddly-familiar-tabloid/
And at NewsBiscuit: http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=91214
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