David Norris
Discredited: Ungracious RTE Runner-Up Speech
by Wallace
Runnymede
Few were
surprised when, in a recent RTE poll, Michael
Collins was voted best ever Fine Gael member.
Indeed, it appears that many Irish people
consider Collins a great man. Perhaps even better
than such leading lights of the party as, say,
the achingly charismatic and talented Enda Kenny!
However, David Norris is just baffled at the way
the voting has gone:
Frankly, I feel very much under-appreciated.
I mean, we all know that this horrible, violent
hooligan…
Sorry, I mean, our brave and loyal Irish Patriot
Michael Collins, achieved a lot, I mean, by the,
if you will, the very narrow and meagre standards
of his time. However, I do believe that in this
day and age, we should really be putting things
into perspective, by now.
No, I just don't think the Fine Gael of 1916 and
the Easter Rising is the Fine Gael that we and
the People of Ireland want to be associated with.
After all, it's not hard to see that Fine Gael is
a very different party now, and we have really
progressed a great deal since the days those
vicious, despicable terrorists…
Now do excuse me, I mean the brave and loyal
Irish Patriots…
Were smashing up post offices…
Sorry, no, I mean…
Were wreaking havoc and chaos in such a terrible,
terrible, senselessly wicked and unconstructive
manner…
Um, please excuse me, no not that, I mean I
obviously meant since the time they were beating
and shooting countless innocent…
No, that's certainly, not it, either…
Well, I suppose you get the picture, near enough.
Aye... well,
near enough, David! :P
Also
published at the Spoof: http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/122554/david-norris-disappointed-at-not-coming-first-in-greatest-ever-fine-gael-member-poll
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