Cake
by Bobby Macleod
Alec added the
final touches of gold leaf to the cake. He could
barely contain his excitement as he stood back to
have a look at it in all it’s glory. A
faberge egg styled cake filled with peach, orange,
whiskey, and layered with a champagne jelly and
light biscuit. He dimmed the lights and waited
for his girlfriend to come home from work.
Diane came
through the door, her hair matted from the rain.
“What’s going on Alec, why are the
lights dimmed?”.
“Sit down”,
he said, “I’ve got something for you. I’ve
been working on it for months, I think you’ll
love it”.
Alec went into
the kitchen and wheeled the cake out into the
middle of the living room. “I know we’ve
been having a rough time of it the last while so
I thought I’d surprise you with this. I had
to order the ingredients from all over the world,
the whiskey is a rare 50 year old single malt and
the gold leaf is from an artisan in Venice. It
took all my savings but I did it for you”.
“What the
hell are you talking about” said Diane.
“What is this Alec? You’ve not worked
in eleven years… I’ve been out all day
washing carrots in that shitehole of a factory
for minimum wage… and you… you’ve
been home doing this? You told me you were
staying home all day doing an online course in
computer programming so that you could get back
into work. Oh my god, what did you do with the
money my dad lent you for the course?”.
“I spent
it on this, for you. I couldn’t tell him it
was for a faberge egg cake, or the surprise might
have been ruined,” said Alec.
Diane began to
sob. She spoke with fury through her tears,
“they were going to use that money to go on
a cruise for their anniversary, but they thought
they were helping us get a better life… I’ve
wasted 15 years of my life on you… you
useless bastard.”
Diane
collapsed to the floor, “I can’t even
afford tampons and you’ve spent £7,000 on a
cake.”
“Just try
the cake Diane, don’t worry, one day we will
be rich, you’ll be able to buy the same
tampons as the Queen”, said Alec as he
managed to spoon a little piece of the cake into
her mouth between sobs.
Diane went
silent for a moment then spoke, “Its…it’s
delicious…you bastard… peach, orange,
light touch of single malt whiskey… the
biscuit base melts in my mouth with the champagne
jelly.” She picked herself up and walked
over to the cake, crying, and grabbed a spoon on
the way.
“Is there
any wine?”, Diane asked.
Alec smiled
and brought out a bottle of Château d’Yquem
desert wine. He poured a glass for Diane and
himself, and told her everything would be alright
from then on. They sat up eating and drinking
into the early hours of the morning.
EPILOGUE
Two months
later Alec was brainwashed by a cult leader who
claimed to be a messenger from the planet Teebor,
which he said was just to the left of Orion’s
left shoulder. Unfortunately, Alec drank a Dr
Pepper laced with cyanide believing it would
release his cosmic energy and enable him to
travel to Teebor at the speed of light.
Diane managed
to rebuild some semblance of a normal life in the
months following Alec’s fatal drink of Dr
Pepper, and went on to become a successful food
critic for the Guardian newspaper.
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