British Scholar
A C Grayling Slays the Dragon
by Wallace
Runnymede
Most people
would surely think there's nothing wrong with
kids playing with fuzzy puppies, rabbits,
giraffes, and all kinds of animals, and that it's
all very innocent.
But some
prominent scholars disagree.
Yes: A C
Grayling is concerned that not all cuddly toys
are equal.
"I mean
take dragons for example, they may be cuddly and
funny and comfy and gloriously coloured,
flamboyantly patterned, and so on...
"But they
have absolutely nothing whatsoever, nothing IN
THE LEAST to do with science as we now understand
it.
"Yes…
if you tell your children that there MIGHT JUST
be such a thing as a dragon, even leaving the
question slightly open, you are giving the
irrationalists an inch...
"And they
will undoubtedly take a mile, because they are
just don’t understand these matters.
"I mean
it's against all we know about aerodynamics,
anatomy, the fossil record; I mean, for pity's
sake, I've even seen films with dragons
interacting with humans, not to mention dinosaurs!
"Indeed.
I mean, is it a coincidence that a country with
hundreds of millions of young-Earth creationists,
invented Barney the Dinosaur?
"Oh, and
don't get me started on foolish and misleading
cartoon series, like the Flintstones. Utter
fashionable nonsense!
"Well?
Human beings interacting with dinosaurs? I don't
even have to tell you how preposterous and
irrational that is. Oh, can you but believe that
such superstitious idiocy is ACTUALLY widely
considered to be a "classic television
series!"
"Well...
if that's all it takes to make a widely popular
television series, no wonder the bigots in a
certain US television network arrogantly and
contemptuously turned up their noses at my
fascinating and intriguing pitch...
"For a
simply wonderful and intriguing documentary on
early post-Cambrian rock formations and on some
of the more reconditely nuanced and narrowly-disputed
themes in annelid genetics!
"Now
really, is it any wonder that there is so much
hostility towards science and reason, when
children are not being told the difference
between REAL, BIOLOGICALLY PLAUSIBLE living
entities, and the feverish concoctions of the
heated brain of some over-artsy dilettante
fantasist?"
So what toys
do your grandchildren play with, Professor
Grayling? Don't they have dolls? Teddy bears?
Action figures?
"Oh...
now, what an utterly preposterous question. No...no,
no, I'm sure they don't. I will have to ask their
parents... no, they wouldn't maliciously betray
me in such an utterly cruel and heartless manner.
"No. I
may be a renowned sceptic, but I am a HUNDRED
MILLION BILLION PER CENT SURE, without the
slightest trace of doubt WHATSOEVER, that they
are all in their bedrooms right now doing their
homework...
"Or
perhaps reading Cuvier or Lamarck.
"Or
perhaps, if they are sufficiently ambitious,
pitching a groundbreaking peer-reviewed article
to "Nature" journal...
"As
distinguished from one of the lamentably idiotic
pseudo-journals which pander to flat-Earthers,
moon-landing sceptics, truthers and myriad
conspiracy theorists, vaccination denialists,
Hongcheng magic-liquidists, PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY
BELIEVE IN GOD (!)...
"And
anything of the like, really.”
Edited
version of original on: http://www.thespoof.co.uk/spoof-news/magazine/13385/a-c-graylings-ungodly-war-on-childrens-toys
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