Blunder at the
Bar
by Betty Mermelstein
It was with
effusive confidence that Ken entered the upscale
bar at the Smiling Tiger and chose his seat next
to an attractive brunette. Better than her
attractiveness, she was sipping a glass of wine. I
hit the jackpot, Ken thought. He was one of a
dozen people who had sat in on a wine tasting
class the day before. No one knows a subject
better than someone who has just been schooled.
Ken played it
cool and ordered a glass of Merlot, presumably
ignoring Miss Jackpot. He proceeded to hold his
glass up to the light, nodding to himself in
satisfaction after seeing the brilliance and
clarity he was looking for. Next came the swirl.
Holding the stem, he moved the glass in circles
and examined the effect. He decided now was the
time to show his accumulated facts about vino.
“I couldn’t
help but notice,” he began to the woman,
“that yours is really full-bodied.” He
flashed a toothy smile for extra effect.
“I beg
your pardon?” she retorted, snapping her
head around.
“As they
say, the heavier the alcohol content, the heavier
the legs,” Ken continued.
“Whaaaaaat?
You better apologize or say something that I’m
gonna like!”
Ken was taken
aback by her reaction to his reference to the
streams of wine that fall down the glass after
swirling it. They’re called legs.
He tried once
more. “I see you're drinking a dry red wine
with tannins that cause puckering.”
She left Ken
wondering if he should pair the fruity, acidic
beverage that was streaming down his face with
some lamb.
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