Americans
Shocked: 'Is the Pope a Capitalist?'
by Wallace
Runnymede
Millions of
Americans were shocked recently to hear Russia
Today's Max Keiser slam Pope Francis about the
latter's economic views.
Is this guy
for real? He wants to increase welfare, increase
environmental regulation, make all these
unaccountable global institutions to tell people
where they can trade, when they trade, under what
conditions? I mean, is he actually for real? That's
not capitalism!
A confidential
Vatican source named after an obscure mendicant
friar and saint from medieval Italy seemed
bemused when I spoke with him.
Not a
capitalist? Well, I should think so, yes! I mean,
where on earth has Max Keiser been for the past
2000 years?
I assume
not a Church! Well, not a proper one, anyway,
otherwise he would certainly have found out that
the first ecumenical council in history actually
specifically banned 'interest,' or if you will, 'usury.'
And do Max
and others who criticise me really think that our
church has ever been devoted to laissez-faire or
otherwise strongly free-market ideas? If our
critics would just open a history book, they
would surely see that in medieval Europe, where
our influence on the government was considerably
stronger, there was not a peep of Victorian
social Darwinism, or indeed any kind of latter
day Washington Consensus on free trade!
Millions of
Americans are horrified at this completely
unexpected revelation.
One oil CEO
told me, sitting in his $5 000 leather 'comfy
chair' and thumbing through his priceless
collection of Tang Dynasty coins and Tokugawa
Japan jewellery artifacts:
I am just
really depressed about this. I genuinely thought
Pope Francis was one of us, just a regular guy
like me and all my buddies in Wall Street. But
now it turns out it's not the case! This guy, you
know what? He must be some kind of spiritual
elitist or something.
Well, I've
just had it! I'm just about done with God by now.
If someone like Pope Francis can get to the top
of the Catholic Church, there must be something
very seriously wrong in this world.
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