All There is to
Life
by Kent V. Anderson
My mother says
I need to get off my butt and find a woman and
get married. She says that wearing sweat pants,
watching video games, eating left-over pizza,
borrowing her van, and living in her basement, is
not all there is to life. She says I should go
out into the world and get the woman and the life
I really deserve!
Maybe she's
right. There may be millions of women who would
go for a guy like me.
So I put an ad
in Craigslist personals: “Single guy, 35
years old, frugal, likes to sit and do stuff,
always dressed for the occasion, seeks like-minded
woman interested in marriage and/or children.
Will send picture if you insist.”
I get lots of
responses and I answer them all.
Mom says it's
cuz I'm lazy, but I think it's creative; instead
of meeting them at a cafe or bar, I have them
come and meet me in my mom's basement. And to
show how easy I am to get along with, I don't set
up a specific time, I just tell them to drop in
whenever.
Sure enough,
about 1 am, Marta comes over with a box of wine.
She tells me she's depressed about losing her job
over an alleged shortage in the petty cash
account. I like her straight forward manner. She
liked that I had my own place. So we really hit
it off!
Just a couple
of months later, she's moved in with me, and
already says she's pregnant. Marta's mom and
sister moved in too last week, which is fine with
me cuz we have plenty of mattresses down here.
Wow, there
really is more to life than just doing what I was
doing!
I want to
thank my mom, but I don't know where she moved to
cuz she didn't leave an address.
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