Unbitchiness brings happiness that is fleeting
While running me down in a BMW on your way to a PTA meeting
Is a memory I’ll always cherish,
Assuming I live and don’t perish.

Yes, that’s my coat in the overhead compartment
That brings you such exasperation
As you smash it with your briefcase, with deportment.
Forgive me for getting there first—I’m an abomination!

I agree, your half-caf soy chai whateveruccino
Has to be perfect. Don’t mind the line
That stretches out to the horizon, we won’t make a scene-o
We don’t have to get to work at any particular time—we’re fine!

No, go on your merry way, I love you just the way you are
And surely I’m not alone--
The big hair, the blood-red nails, the car
That swerves into me while you talk on your phone.