Memorable
Characters
by M. V.
Montgomery
Let’s be characters today—memorable
characters, she said.
You are ohso fantastic! I exclaimed. I
want to be Disgruntled Lottery Man. I’ll
wait till there’s a long line of people at
the Kangaroo and then buy a ticket and scratch it
off as though my life depended on it.
That’s a cliché, she
said. To sell it, you are going to have
to tone it down.
Oh, I’d totally be an indie
actor and act all whatever. Then
after I get to the last number, it hits me. I
shake my head, back away from the counter, and
start a rant.
What if there are kids?
It’d be a good object lesson,
wouldn’t it? The perils of gambling. The
ranting and lamenting will insure the episode is
impressed on them forever. Maybe I’ll
catch the after-church crowd on a Sunday so moms
and dads can hush and point.
Won’t they recognize you the
next time at the store?
We’ll go to a different place,
then. A big city gas station.
Probably lots of Disgruntled
Lottery Men there.
So I’ll act something else. What
will you be?
I will be Peaceably Deranged Lady
and stand out front of the SuperTarget with a
wand and wave open the automatic doors for all
the people.
They’ll kick you out.
Not for a while. Have you ever
seen security there?
Hah. It’s hard enough to
find customer service. Ooh, ooh, can you be
arrested for impersonating a Target employee?
It’s not like a cop.
Cause, what if I came up to you in
my red shirt and nameplate and tried to talk you
down? Asked you to explain yourself and gave
you a chance to monologue?
I would love that.
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