Me and Anne
Frank, Like Best Friends Forever!
by Con Chapman
Educators are concerned
that today’s teens are too quick to equate
the turmoil of their lives with hardships endured
by Anne Frank.
The Boston Globe
Dear
Diary:
You’re
lucky I read The Diary of Anne Frank.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have started you, so
without the Holocaust, you wouldn’t exist
LOL! Funny how something totally random can have
this major impact on your life.
Hard
to believe 25 million people read her diary! If
that many people read mine I couldn’t show
my face in the cafeteria.
Also
the stuff I put into you wouldn’t be as good
if I hadn’t read her. You helped my
writing—my Common App essay rocked!
I
have a lot in common with Anne. Her mother
annoyed her, my mother annoys me. She had a
rivalry with her sister, I hate my brother. She
wanted to be an actress, I should be in the
movies. Nobody understood her, nobody understands
me. She had to hide from the Nazis, I have to
hide crib notes up my sleeve for my Calculus
final.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Diary—
I
cannot believe I am grounded!
I
got drunk and threw up, but we only took a little
out of the Absolut bottle, and we replaced it
with mom’s bottled water. She puts ice in
her drink anyway, so it saved her a step.
Two
weeks of hell--good thing I read The Diary of
Anne Frank, so I can endure pain.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Diary—
I
have the stupidest brother EVER! Last night
I slept over at Courtney’s, and while I was
gone he messed up my dresser. I told him A
MILLION TIMES not to touch my stuff! It was like
Kristallnacht, where the Nazis looted Jewish
shops. He knocked over my perfume, and one of my
earrings is missing!
When
the history of my family is written, my mom is
gonna rank below Joseph Goebbels. He
told the Nazis to stop at some point, she just
sat there and watched a two-hour Grey’s
Anatomy.
G2G–here
comes Der Fuhrer now.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Diary—
Have
you ever heard that poem “First they came
for the communists, and I did not speak out,
because I was not a communist.” The guy
finds out if you don’t stick up for your
friends, someday nobody will be there for you. I
hope that’s how Courtney feels right now.
Tommy Ladner was going to ask me to the
prom, then Courtney broke up with Mike Delosier,
now I’m stuck with a purple dress.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Dear
Diary:
Mom
won’t let me go on spring break! Mom
thinks we should go on one last family
vacation before college. The four of us,
crammed into hotels for the most important week
of my life! Just because my idiot brother
has to ride Space Mountain.
It
reminds me of Anne Frank, cooped up for two years
in an attic with her family. I’m glad I
read her book, even though it was a bummer at the
time. Because of it, I can handle real
suffering.
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