Commuting With
Gerda
by Jay Duret
I was driving
to work with our new au pair. She had been in the
country for two weeks but was already an
authority on life in the U.S.
“Hey,
Gerda,” I said, “that’s Laurel
Hill cemetery. I think it is the oldest cemetery
in Philadelphia. Probably one of the oldest in
the country.”
“Do they
have a time when they can get rid of them?”
“Who?”
“The dead
people.”
“No. I
don’t think so. Do they do that in Germany?”
“In
Germany I think it is 20 years.”
“Really?
They just get rid of them?
“Well,
German land is very valuable.”
“I never
heard of us doing that here.”
“After 20 years, the bodies are decomposed.”
“Yes, I
would think so,” I said.
“Although
I heard that there is a problem with that in
America.”
“Really?
What sort of problem?”
“People
here eat too many conservatives.”
“What?”
“They do,
they eat so much conservatives that their bodies
don’t decompose very well.”
“That’s
good to know. I will have to remember that.”
“Oh, yeah.
They’ll be around forever.”
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