A Day in the
Life
by Tegon Maus
I was arrested
today.
At 64, for
those of you who do not know me I am still a
rough and tumble kind of a guy who has been shot
at, pistol whipped, stabbed and have had my share
of fights over the years, all without being
arrested. I can assure you I have never
started a fight and by the same measure never
walked away from one either.
My troubles
all began because of a weather mast... a ten foot
long, forty pound steel pipe used in
electrical work.
As I pushed my
cart down the isle I couldn't help but notice an
attractive young woman watching me. Dressed
in black slacks with a pale blue floral top,
covered with a bright orange Home Depot apron she
appeared to be 23 or 24. She leaned against
shelves and smiled softly in my direction.
I acknowledged
her smile, nodding in return in an effort to be
polite.
What had
caught my eye was that fact that she wore
lipstick, a deep rich, luscious, red lipstick.
Her long, straight red hair had been curled under
at the end giving her that forties movie star
appearance.
I tried
desperately to ignore her, to go on about my
business, turning my back to her. To my
dismay the weather masts were placed four feet
off the floor and stood on end making them
arduously difficult to recover.
The next time
I glanced in her direction she waved lightly and
her smile broadened.
I smiled in
return and nodded again.
She pushed off
the shelves, placing her hands behind her back
and began to saunter in my direction.
I stood,
turning to meet her advance.
“I've
been watching you,” she said, swinging her
shoulders lightly from side to side.
“I
noticed,” I returned.
With her this
close I could smell her perfume, see her perfect
skin and her deep blue eyes. She was truly a
beautiful young woman.
“My name
is Carla,” she said and placed a warm hand
on my arm.
To my surprise
my shoulders pulled back, my stomach sucked in
and both of their own volition.
“Hi Carla,”
I said not knowing exactly what I should say.
“Did you
need help?” she asked rubbing my arm
nonchalantly.
“No, I
got it.”
I couldn't
help but notice the shape of her sweet face,
her full lips, her incredible body, the wanton
look in her eyes.
“Don't be
like that. You're just like my Grandpa. He won't
ask for help either,” she cooed.
“I beg
your pardon?”
“Don't be
stubborn, I help my Grandpa all the time,”
she said taking my hand leading me back to my
cart.
Well, as you
might imagine things spiraled out of control
shortly after that... mean things were said,
punches were thrown, shelves knocked over and the
police called.... clearly it was not my fault.
However, I will say Carla has one hell of a right
hook.
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