You’re
Going the Wrong Way
by Jerry Guarino
I arrived at the YMCA early
one day and walked up the stairs to the track.
About a half dozen seniors were already there
walking clockwise. But they were walking the
wrong way! On even days walkers were supposed to
walk counterclockwise. When I started to walk the
correct way, I passed several walkers coming my
way.
“You’re going the
wrong way.”
But no one paid attention
to my pleas. After a lap or two, I decided to
reverse course and walk in the same, wrong
direction as everyone else. I passed people and
warned them.
“We’re going the
wrong way.”
But no one paid attention.
Thinking I had landed in an
existential French novel, I tried to reason with
each person I saw. So, even though we were all
walking in the same (wrong) direction, I was the
only person upset by this. Maybe I was mistaken.
I checked the date on my iPhone. No, this is the
date that we walk counterclockwise!
Well, this was too much. I
left my morning walk early and complained to the
reception desk.
“Walkers are going the
wrong way! I tried to tell them but no one cared.”
No one at the reception
desk cared either! Now, I was sure to be in a
Kafka or Camus novel. What do you do when the
world is going backward and you can’t
convince people otherwise? Why is this happening?
So, I went to the grocery
store. It continued there. People were going
through the clearly marked aisles in the wrong
direction. During Covid, grocery stores marked
aisles as one way to minimize contact with others.
Now that the crises had ended, most people still
followed the arrows; it did reduce congestion,
especially in the bread and coffee aisles. I
tried to correct the situation.
“You know, you’re
going the wrong way.” A woman just looked at
me and sighed.
“What does it matter?”
“It matters because it’s
better. Less congestion when someone stops to
browse. More freedom to move.”
The woman rolled her eyes
and moved on past me, in the wrong direction.
At this point, I had to
reevaluate my position. “Did it matter?
After all, my vacation is coming up and I can get
out of this meshugenah country for a while.
***
I woke up early after a
good night’s sleep to the sound of birds and
sheep. I had breakfast in the country inn and
then set out for a day of sightseeing. My little
Fiat car was just perfect on these narrow ancient
roads. Opening the windows and smelling the
country air, I put the car in drive and headed
out on the cobblestone road. I turned on the
radio and The Beatles’ Get Back
came on. Hmm?
Suddenly, there were loud
horns and people yelling at me, but I couldn’t
hear what they were saying. I nearly hit a red
double-decker bus. A police car beckoned me to
pull over. The bobby came to my window.
“Is there a problem
officer? Did you see that bus almost hit me?”
“You’re going the
wrong way.”
You’re
Going the Wrong Way by Jerry Guarino
Copyright July, 2023 – All Rights Reserved
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