Wild West Air
by David Harker
Mike climbed
the steps and stood by the doorway, waiting for
passengers in front to take their seats. Being
thrifty he’d always been careful choosing
airlines but this was his first time flying lo-cost
Wild West. First impressions were very favourable;
the 737 looked almost new, with the bucking
Bronco logo proudly displayed on the tail fin.
As he stepped
into the plane, the flight attendant fixed him
with a huge beaming smile.
“Well
good morning sir! My name is Becky-Sue and
I’m gonna be looking after you during the
flight! If you want anything at all just holler!”
As he settled
into his fake cowhide seat, he smiled; he decided
he really liked this “cowboy” outfit
and he felt himself relax for the first time that
day.
“Bing,
Bong… Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome onboard
Wild West Airlines. We’d like y'all to pay
attention now, cos we’re gonna give you some
inflight safety stuff that could be important.”
Mike peered
down the aisle at Becky-Sue as she stood ready to
deliver the safety instructions. He was idly
thinking how fit she looked in her cow girl
uniform when she looked straight at him, gave him
another beaming smile and, unexpectedly, a little
wink. He blushed like a school kid and saw her
stifle a giggle, before starting her
demonstration of seat belt and oxygen mask
procedures.
A short while
later, as the plane reached cruising altitude,
the intercom clicked on again.
"Bing,
Bong… Hey folks, My name is Randy and
I’m gonna be your captain for today. Your co-pilot
is Travis. We’d like to welcome y’all
to Wild West flight 23, to Tombstone. We’re
flying at our cruising altitude of 38,000 feet,
the weather ahead is good and I’m
anticipating a smooth and uneventful flight. So
y’all just sit back and rela.. OH, MY GOD!"
The intercom
clicked off. Everyone sat in stunned silence,
tense, uncertain and terrified! The flight
attendants exchanged looks and offered reassuring
glances to the anxious passengers around them. At
last the intercom clicked on again…
“Bing,
Bong… Hey, I am real sorry if I scared you
just then. I accidentally spilled a cup of
steamin’ hot coffee in my lap. You should
see the front of my pants!"
"That's
nothing mate... You should see the seat of mine",
Mike said to no-one in particular, rapidly
developing a dislike for this clown of a pilot.
Becky-Sue, who had been just about to serve
drinks at his row of seats, heard his guarded
comment and burst out laughing; soon his pithy
comment had spread throughout the cabin
lightening the mood and dispelling any remaining
tension.
Mike ordered
his drink, took a sip, put the cup down then
closed his eyes.
"Bing,
Bong… Hey! This is your captain again.
We’ve just started our descent into
Tombstone. It’s about 95 degrees there with
some broken clouds. We'll definitely try to have
those clouds fixed before you notice.”
“Oh God,
a joker…”, Mike muttered, “people
like that really annoy me.”
“Thank
you for riding Wild West, y’all come back
soon you hear!”, Randy continued.
The rest of
the flight passed in a flurry of activity, the
safety belt signs came on, Becky-Sue collected
cups and glasses, made sure the tables were
stowed and the seats were “in the upright
position”. Then, as they passed through
cloud, the plane started to yaw and judder as a
strong crosswind caught the aircraft and the
captain struggled to hold her nose steady for the
landing.
In the cockpit,
the Captain could clearly be heard enjoying the
ride, "Yeeeehaaaa!!” and then as the
plane thumped onto the tarmac and was braking to
a halt, "Whoa, little lady. WHOA!".
"Ladies
and Gentlemen, welcome to Tombstone. Please
remain in your seats with your seat belts
securely fastened while the Captain taxis what's
left of our airplane to the gate...”
As he gathered
his hand luggage Mike decided that lo-cost was
probably not for him.
|
