The Chi Spot
by Alison
Bennett
Here we are
again at Tai Chi, week six. We are going to
open the ‘windows and reach for the moon.’
I can’t wait!
I am the most
awkward uncoordinated member of the group. I
stand at the back, where my outrageous attempts
at the supposedly graceful ancient art are not
seen as a hilarious Dawn French type distraction
to the more serious members of the group.
All sorts of
things cross my mind as I stand in the chilly
Village Hall with my little black plimsolls on,
like I used to wear for P.E. at Primary School.
Bums are a regular thought. Bums, well
basically you judge others on whether they are (in
your opinion) better or worse than your own.
This calculation is based both on the size,
and over all attractiveness, of the other bum.
Currently
I’m doing very well in the bum stakes but
there is one I have to admit that I do have a
degree of bum envy over, I think it is mainly
because it is so much smaller and firmer than it
used to be. It never seems to matter how much I
diet or exercise mine is always about the same,
stable but critical!
After reading
the negative article in the local chapel magazine
about Tai Chi, I’m constantly wondering just
when my horns and tail will appear, I have a
regular little feel around to check, no
sign just yet. I’m sure the tutor
thinks I’m a bit odd as he caught me
carrying out a full inspection last week.
I am rather
enjoying this new experience as it’s good
for my core strength, always a great attribute to
have. And my stress levels, apart from the
constant fear that I may possibly let one go when
I lift my leg up to meet my hand, have by and
large improved.
The tutor is
nice enough, he basically knows I’m a no
hoper, so he just leaves me to my own devises and
interpretation of what the rest are doing and
rarely troubles me.
There is much
talk about the Chi, this you can experience as a
powerful force that can push your cupped hands
apart around a certain point in front of your
stomach. I have observed that some members
of the group get quite excited about it.
When meeting
up with the ladies for a coffee after the class,
I decide to make some enquiries about the Chi, so
I say, “Tell me girls have, we found our Chi?”
They all laugh and say, “No not yet.”
Then they ask me and I think deeply and then
respond philosophically, “I am 49 years old
and I’ve not found my G Spot yet - I think
the Chi is looking very unlikely.” But
I’m no quitter, so I’ll have another go
next Thursday.
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