The Autopsy
by Jerry Guarino
It was a dark and stormy
night. The body was brought into the medical
examiner’s lab. The medical examiner, Dr.
John Brody and his assistant, Jose Mariel,
prepared to discover the what, how and when of
the deceased.
Dr. Brody turned on his
recorder.
“This is Dr. John
Brody and my assistant Jose Mariel at 2200 hours,
January 23rd 2024. We are examining a John Doe
recovered by the Las Vegas CSI team.”
“Dr. Brody, I’ve
never seen a body in such a condition.”
“Mr. Mariel, you will
someday. But this is something I have seen before.”
The body, a large man with
a bloated stomach, lay still on the cold, metal
table, the lights illuminating his nude figure.
“Three hundred- and
ten-pounds doctor. Is that due to the distension?”
“Perhaps somewhat. We’ll
know more when we cut him open.”
Dr. Brody was about to make
the Y-shaped incision you see on those crime
shows, but first took a scalpel and pushed it
gently into the abdomen near the navel. A loud
and long hissing sound occurred.
“Looks like we need to
recheck his weight now.”
Jose looked at the scale
attached to the table. “Only two hundred and
ninety pounds now Doctor. How is that possible?”
“Gas in the stomach
and probably undigested food. “Let’s
use that figure.”
Dr. Brody made the Y-shaped
incision and spread the chest cavity open. A
horrible smell escaped and grotesque-colored
organs appeared.
Jose gagged.
“Are you ok son?”
“Yes, Doctor.”
Jose adjusted his mask.
Dr. Brody explored the
internal cavity. Then he noticed something
strange.
“What is it, Doctor?”
“I don’t
understand. This man has no heart.”
“Maybe it shifted
inside with all that gas.”
“No, it should be here”,
pointing to the location. “Take a photo or
two.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
Jose took a couple of flash pictures of where the
heart should have been.
“I think we need to
open the head.”
Jose handed the ban saw
used to open the cranial cavity. After several
minutes of buzzing and grinding that would make a
dentist squirm, he pulled back the facial skin
surrounding the skull. Then he lifted the skull
upwards.
“You better take some
pictures here too Jose.”
What Jose saw was a
gelatinous blob, bluish and green in color.
“I’ve never seen
a brain like that Doctor. What happened to it?”
“It’s not the
brain Mr. Mariel, just a fatty substance where
the brain should be.”
Jose gagged again and
excused himself. “I’ll be right back
sir.”
Dr. Brody continued with
the exam. He noticed two bullet holes on his left
foot.
“The deceased has two
gunshot wounds in his left foot. It is unclear
whether they were self-inflicted or not.”
“Jose, pack up the
deceased’s clothing and send it up to the
CSIs for analysis. Maybe they can figure out who
or what this was.”
“Yes Doctor, right
away.” Jose carefully and respectfully
packed the clothing, blue jeans, a plaid shirt,
and a red hat.
Final Report by Dr. John Brody, Medical Examiner
for the Las Vegas crime lab:
The victim was a male, approximately 40 years
old and weighing two hundred and ninety pounds.
He had no heart, no brain, and appears to have
shot himself in the left foot. Twice.
The
Autopsy by Jerry Guarino
Copyright March, 2024 – All Rights Reserved
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