Pardon
by Michael Franklin
“Well
Arthur... We seem to be dealing with your
constipation problem, but it is evident to me
talking to you across this desk that you have
another handicap.”
“Pardon
Doctor.”
“YOU HAVE
ANOTHER HANDICAP...”
“Another
handy cap? No I do not. This trilby has lots of
life left in it.”
“I MEAN
YOU ARE GETTING CLOSE TO DEAF...”
“To death?
Are you telling me I am dying?”
“NO - BUT
YOU ARE, AS I KNOW, EIGHTY...”
“Weighty?
Certainly not Doctor. I am only two hundred
pounds. Not fat yet.”
“HEAR ME
ARTHUR - YOU ARE AGING...”
“I’m
not raging Doctor. I am calm and gentle.”
“YOU NEED
ASSISTANCE!”
“I
don’t need assistants. My grand-daughter
comes in an helps me every day.”
“I MEAN
YOU HAVE AN EAR PROBLEM...”
“My only
near problem is understanding you Doctor.”
“YOU DO
NOT UNDERSTAND...”
“Unders
tanned? Sunbathing without knickers on?”
”Oh dear
- I give up!”
“Don’t
give up Doc. Put me down for a hearing aid!”
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