'Oldham? No -
Burnham!'
by Michael
Franklin
Looe in
Cornwall is a very sweet place, but I never hear
the word without thought wandering in a different
direction. I can never think of Crawley without
wondering whether they are all down on their
knees, and Exeter folk are all on their way out
apparently. But, when travelling, we
usually see these place names as a navigational
message, rather than find ourselves diverted into
alternative meanings. There are many odd town and
village names around Britain - seventy plus
certainly - but people in those localities simply
see them as normal. Frequent familiar use ignores
more basic meanings. Travellers passing through
see the novelty and strangeness though.
Most of us
live in happy communities with names that please
us and they cannot be swerved far in meaning, but
there are lot of location labels that we probably
would not want appear at the bottom of the
mailing address sent to distant chums. I need to
say that - without doubt - the selection below
are occupied by kind and agreeable people. Good
luck to them, but would you want to live
there? Ingrave, PrattsBottom, Bugthorpe,
Messingham, Swine, Ugley, Idless, Beer, Horsey,
Angerton, Nobottle, Cacklestreet, Fowlend,
Adversane, Hurtwell. KnapCorner, Titchfield,
Craze, and Ladycross.
Doubtless you
would be happier with Mountjoy, Plush, Warmwell,
Blissford, Zeals, Soberton, Appley, Lovington,
Cleverton, and MountPleasant. But some have
meanings that could be offensive to a delicate
mind of course: Crapstone, Poxwell, Piddlehinton,
NorthPiddle, Pidley, Hurtmore, Titfield,
Shallowbowells, Brownwilly, Beddingham,
UpperDicker, and Prixford - to name but a few!
Some readers
of this may not have got the point, so I have to
Warnham. You need to Brighton up your cognitive
skills. You Havant read it properly!
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