At the Elventh
Hour
by David Harker
“Come on Phil!
It’ll be great fun – You’ll really
enjoy it!”
Jan had been trying for a
week now to persuade him that tonight’s
office fancy dress party would be fun. Never the
most outgoing of folks, Phil had finally agreed
to go.
“OK! OK! You win!
We’ll go!” he smiled indulgently.
“What’s the theme
anyway? Please tell me it’s not Tarts and
Vicars, or even worse Rocky Horror Picture Show?
Wearing stockings with legs like these is bloody
agony. Nylons and these leg hairs together can
generate enough static to power a small city!”
Jan giggled mischievously
and smothered him in a huge hug.
“Oooo thank you!
You’re quite safe – Joe is a big Lord
of the Rings fan and I heard from Sally that she
was sure the costumes had to be themed on
Tolkein”.
With that small victory,
she ran to the wardrobe and produced two large
brown cardboard boxes and dropped them on the bed.
Opening the larger of the two, she
enthusiastically stripped to her underwear. Phil
laughed and raised an appreciative eyebrow.
“Well that’s
certainly one benefit… now where’s my
costume?”
“In there Phil,
you’ll look just gorgeous” smiled Jan
as she pushed the smaller box Phil’s way.
“Come on you, get your
kit off or we’re going to be late!”
An hour later, with Phil
pulling uncomfortably at the gusset of his green
tights, a beautiful Elven maiden and her slightly
plump and misshapen Elf warrior climbed into the
car and set off.
“I don’t care
what happens Jan, if we get stopped by the police
I promise you I’m doing a runner!”
Jan just burst out laughing.
“You? Running through
Frankwell dressed like that? I think you’d
be safer in police hands!”
Phil smiled self-consciously
as they arrived at the hotel and walked through
reception to the hotel function room. As he
stepped through the door, it took him just a
moment to realise something wasn’t right.
Maybe it was the abundance of white rhinestone
jump suits? Or maybe it was the sideburns and
sunglasses?
“Oh crap! It’s
not Elves… it’s bloody ELVIS!”
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