Two Little Words
by Roz Warren
You can spend
a lifetime figuring out who you really are. As I
approach my 60th birthday, I‘m finally
closing in on the truth. At the very least, I
know who I’m not. An avid magazine and
newspaper reader, I’ve noticed that the
media loves to sum people up with just two words.
Like “Internet billionaire.” Or
“Famous chef.“ (Occasionally, the
epithet-makers help themselves to three words:
“Health-inforcing mayor,“ anyone?)
I recently
began collecting some sobriquets that will never
be used to describe me. For good or ill, I’m
never going to be a
Deranged
genius
Renowned
adventurer
Disgraced
cyclist
Superstar
swimmer
Serial sexter
Legendary
anchorman
Pop icon
Clueless
banker.
Megawatt Star
Doomed
aviatrix
Urban gardener
Luv guv
Adulterous
multimillionaire
Florida
socialite
Republican
megadonor
Youtube
pioneer, or
Blonde
chanteuse
Of course,
when it comes to a few of these, I do come close. For
instance, Blonde Chanteuse. I am (with salon
assistance) a blonde. And the toddlers who attend
Storytime at the library where I work love my
rendition of “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.”
And while
I’m not exactly a Superstar Swimmer,
I’m still in the pool every day, executing
my plodding but consistent breast stroke.
Disgraced
Cyclist? No thanks. I don’t need performance
enhancing drugs to enjoy a ride around the
neighborhood on my one-speeder.
The truth is
that I’m happy with who I am: a Good
Mom, Retired Attorney, Published Writer and Part-time
Librarian.
Although
there’s still hope that, one of these days,
“Lottery winner,“ or even
“Pulitzer-winner” might apply.
Or perhaps I
should just add “Incurable optimist” to
that list.
What about you?
If you could describe yourself to the world with
just two words, what would they be? Amazing mom?
Stellar wit? Fantastic lover?
(Or, if
you’re having a bad day, you might want to
go with “Exploited wage-slave,“
“Problem drinker“ or “Unhappy home-maker.”)
Go for it!
Share your two words in the Comments Section. Be
as honest (or as delusional) as you want.
Here’s your chance to establish yourself as
a “Piccolo virtuoso,” “Investment
whiz” “Unsung genius” or
“World-class bodybuilder.”
As for me,
I’m going with “Sexy librarian.”
This essay
first appeared on www.womensvoicesforchange.org
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