Twenty Dreams
Interpreted
by Roz Warren
Corn
A dream about eating corn on the cob symbolizes a
deep desire to floss.
Winged
Horse
Dreaming about a winged horse means you’re
tired of your commute.
Elvis
A dream about Elvis indicates that you’re
old enough for an AARP membership.
George
Clooney
A dream about George Clooney is so common as to
be meaningless.
Shrubbery
A dream about shrubbery symbolizes that your
husband was a lot more fun to kiss before he grew
that moustache.
Kangaroo
A dream encounter with a kangaroo means it’s
time to renew your zoo membership.
Being
Asleep
A dream about being asleep is redundant.
Librarian
Dreaming about a librarian means that although
you think you returned all your library books,
one actually fell out of your tote bag and is
still sitting in your trunk, accruing overdue
fines.
Lightening
A lightening strike in a dream is an indication
that you’d like to kill your boss.
Squashed
Ant
A dream in which an ant gets squashed means that
your boss would like to kill you.
Eyelashes
A dream about eyelashes means that you read too
many fashion magazines.
Kardashians
A dream about Kardashians means that the world is
going to hell in a hand basket.
Entrails
A dream about entrails means that you’d
better not forget your mother-in-law’s
upcoming birthday.
Thunderstorm
A dream about a thunderstorm means that your
husband is snoring again.
Knife
A knife may appear in your dream to indicate that
when you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the
way.
Scale
A dream containing a scale indicates that you
need to stop gobbling chocolate chip cookies
before bedtime.
Elephant
Dreaming of an elephant means your husband needs
to stop gobbling chocolate chip cookies before
bedtime.
Fire
Dreaming of a raging fire means you forgot to
turn down the thermostat before you went to bed.
(Or else it’s just another hot flash.)
Waterfall
Dreaming of a waterfall means you left the water
running.
Muscles
To see muscles in your dream suggests that you
have some unresolved Schwarzneggerian
issues.
Train
Wreck
A dream about a train wreck means that you’d
better stop voting Republican.
Taxi
Dreaming of riding in a taxi indicates that when
you wake up extra early tomorrow morning and rush
out the door to make sure you get to that
important meeting on time, your car isn’t
going to start.
A Pig
Being Cleaned
Dreaming of a pig being cleaned means you think
dream interpretation is a bunch of hogwash.
|
