Some Men Just
Need Killin'
by Katie O'Brian-Robles
Okay..
So Mike has the afternoon off.
"What
shall we do?"
"Let's
go look for wild flowers"
"Well
honey, Sofia is really not doing too well.. her
meds have taken all day to kick in and I think
maybe she needs some rest after her short walk
this afternoon." (she was still a little
sore from Mike's back injury).
"Ahh
come on.. it will be fun, we'll load her up in
the truck and I'll show you where we can get
those pretty purple blossoms you like.. "
"Baby,
it's awfully muddy.. do you think it's really a
good idea"
"Sure..
where's your sense of adventure?"
Well
no one has ever accused me of a lack of adventure
(I HAVE been accused of a lack of sense ). So
into the truck we go, Sofia in the back seat, me
in the front thinking.. "this is not a good
idea."
Halfway
through the muck, of course.. we got stuck.
BRRRRRR go the wheels, FFFFLLLLING goes the
mud . We are half a foot deep in the nasty stuff..
Mike gets out of the truck and starts poking
around the fields looking for broken tiles, old
wood.. anything that he can use for traction.
"This
is not a good idea, let's call for help"
"Oh
I have an idea (not a good one) go get me some of
those prawns"
"Prawns??
What are you talking about? What do you want with
shrimp?"
"No
no no.. the prawns off the trees. the palm prawns!"
(the man has a Master's in Pyscology).
Okay
by now I've got the story half written in my mind
and start to giggle and hauling palm fronds over
to the quickly sinking truck.
"This
is not a good idea.. I think we need a shovel"
SO
off Mike and Sofia go on foot and paw in the
direction of the house..
I
keep looking for prawns.
He's
back 20 mins. later with the shovel,some wood and
Jessie.. Jessie is one of the security guards
here on property. Drives a golf cart and carries
a great big walkie talkie. He's also as useless
as tits on a boar. but at least he can tsk tsk
tsk and tell us we're not supposed to be here and
that "it's really not a good idea."
I'm
at the wheel loving the FFFFFLING sound, Mike is
pushing the truck, Jessie is on his golf cart
whispering something into his walkie talkie.
We
finally manage to get the truck extricated...
Mike resembles something like the creature from
the Black Lagoon, I'm in a helpless heap from
laughing and we back up all the way down the
muddy trail to the street outside our house.
We
had left Sofia at home and not wanting to be left
out of this grand adventure, she's plopped
herself on OUR bed giving us the stink eye and
wondering why she ever got involved with any of
us..
Obviously
it was not a good idea.
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