Odontophobia
by Lata
Vijaybaskar
I am really
scared of dentists. The thought of the
dentist’s machine would be enough to
postpone my appointment to the next week, month
if I am lucky. But here I am after a lot of
postponements - the secretary actually told me my
sheet is filled with cancelled appointments. I
even thought of completely letting go, but my
toothache had become something close to
unbearable and so after the usual round of
apologies to the secretary, I got myself booked
for the day after – in the afternoon.
Coward that I
am, not wanting to walk uphill alone, I
approached my neighbor. Now Sarah is a typical
nosy, continuously blabbering, always looking for
other’s trouble neighbor. Of course once or
twice her nosiness had actually helped the
neighborhood and hence she is very proud of her
talent, and we just consider it as a practical
lesson in tolerance.
“Ooh!
Don’t worry dahling, I’ll come with you
to the dentist.” She gushed. “It’ll
only be a prick and wham all over,” she
dramatized, her pink lip gloss moving her pouting
mouth in cartoon proportions.
“Uh
thanks Sarah,” I mumbled and promised to
meet her on the D day.
Well the day
arrived and I met Sarah, dressed in a very
colorful dress, huge accessories and a red lip
stick with theatre make up. She apparently was
cheering me up with her bright dress. Blinded me
would have been more apt. As we moved along the
road, she brought out sheets of paper.
“What are
these?” I asked. Have you taken up insurance
sales or something? Direct marketing?
“No way,
I’d never do one of those ‘Please buy
my product begging,” she huffed.
“This is
for you.”
At my
perplexed look, she went on to explain in all the
glory of new found knowledge and freedom her work
the last 2 days. “I searched the Google for
your disease,” she said.
“What
disease?”
“Your
acute Odontophobia,” she answered proudly
like a quiz question.
“What?”
“Well you
see I have done some research on your fear of the
dentist. The Google says it is a very common
phenomenon. In fact a lot people apparently have
it. In fact they have suggested you can change
your behavior with tactile changes and relaxation
techniques like diaphragmatic breathing and
progressive muscle relaxation,” Sarah droned
on excitedly.
She then went
on to say she had spoken to most of our neighbors
about my ‘disease’ and has gotten
suggestions from them. I almost strangled her.
As we
approached the clinic I was so strung up I hardly
noticed my fear. Suddenly I heard a shriek. A
breadth catching, save my life kind of scream.
And it was coming from my researcher neighbor.
“T- th
the bee,” she cried. I turned to see a huge
black bee buzzing by. “I am really scared of
them,” she trembled.
“They
must have thought your dress to be a garden,
Sarah. Have you Googled about Apiphobia?” I
replied, feeling avenged.
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