Men Who Don't
Love Women Enough And How To Shoot Them
by Roz Warren
Q:
Janice and Edward have been married for twelve
years. They have two children. Edward is an
accountant. Edward and Janice have sex once a
week, on Wednesday night at 9:15. Sex lasts for
three minutes -- until Edward comes. Then Edward
falls asleep. Janice has tried wearing
provocative clothing, has hinted about foreplay
and has read aloud pertinent Penthouse letters on
this subject, but Edward refuses to help her
reach orgasm. Is there a solution to
Janice’s problem?
A:
Yes -- the new .44 magnum from Dan Wesson Arms, a
snubby with plenty of firepower and admirable
accuracy. Great for quick, close-in action
shooting. Wham, ban, thank you -- BLAM!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Q:
Jay and Susi are expecting their first baby in
June. Susi is totally overcome with morning
sickness. She feels achy and headachy and just
generally lousy all the time. But Jay refuses to
give up poker-playing evenings with his pals to
stay home, fix Susi banana splits, and accompany
her back and forth to the bathroom. What can Susi
do to keep Jay at home?
A:
Susi can keep Jay at home -- permanently -- with
the Smith & Wesson “Lady Smith.”
The Lady Smith chambers the .38 Special and is
surprisingly accurate at short distances. And the
words “Lady Smith” are sculpted right
on the gun, for that personal touch.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Q:
Harold has been going out with Samantha for five
years but won’t marry her. She adores him
and is ready to settle down, but Harold says he
isn’t ready to commit. Plus, he two-times
and three-times her, going out with scads of
other women. Samantha is getting fed up with
Harold’s immature, selfish behavior and
would like to stop his running around. What’s
the answer?
A:
There’s no simply answer to a problem like
this. There are a number of options open to
Samantha. There’s the American Derringer
Semmerling LM-4 and the Beretta Model 84BB.
There’s also the Browning Buck Mark Varmint,
the Bersa Model 85, or the Colt Lightweight
Commander. Or even the Colt Mustang Pocket Lite.
Samantha has some tough choices to make. She
should probably consult her minister, spiritual
advisor, and/or horoscope to help her with an
important decision like this one.
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