Her Ladyship
Goes to the Vet
by Katie O'Brian-Robles
It's
time for rescued doberman, Sofia's six month
thyroid check. Off we go to the vet, me behind
the wheel of the Z, her curled up like a cocktail
shrimp beside me. Traversing the beautiful
coastline to Ensenada is always a special treat
for both of us.
Sofia
likes Dr. Olvera. He always takes the time to
greet her, pet her and pay her the required
homage fitting for HRM.
All
was going well til it was time to weigh in. She
stepped sedately onto the scales... then it
all started going downhill.
85.5
pounds!!!
"Ah
Mio Dios," hisses Dr. Olvera. "La Perra
es mui gordo."
Oh-oh,
as you might know Sofia is extremely sensitive
about her weight.. We've on occasion
referred to her as... perhaps.... rubenesque...
large framed or maybe even full figured
but never ever has she heard the "F"
word.
"Let's
get her on the exam table and see what's going on."
With
that, she became spread eagled and velcroed
herself to the floor.
The
good doctor called in two more techs who had the
audacity to touch her royal personage without
permission, and a full blown snit ensued.. she
squirmed like a python, her toes became like cat's
claws as she curled them around and clutched the
edges of the cold metal table. She shut her eyes
as tight as she could at the approaching
hypodermic needle to draw a few drops of her
imperial blood.
"Listo..
we're all done. Adios. I'll call with the results."
With
that she made a beeline to the front door,
goosing one of the techs on the way out..
jumped into her seat in my car and stared, no,
glared out the window the entire way home. Once
here, she refused to get out of the car..
sat on MY side for a full half hour, sulking and
muttering something in Doberese about 'scales
being wrong and of course she couldnt' weigh that
much and even if she did it was all puppy fat
anyway.'
Finally
when we got her to join us in the house, she
shredded her bed and tossed the stuffing all
about the back yard..
The
Grand Dame was truly piss-ed.. Thank goodness we
don't have to do this again for another six
months.
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