THE DR.
PHILBILLY SHOW - Zombie Land
by Wayne Carlan
The kids had
been after me to bring them to see this new movie
called “Zombie Land”. Ok, I admit it, I
had been wanting to see it, too. So a few months
ago we all went to see it and it was actually
pretty good. Not the typical spook movie though
cause it was pretty funny.
There was this
one scene were this guy always checks the public
bathrooms for zombies before he does his business.
(Apparently the public bathrooms are a zombie hot
spot for some reason.) This guy walks in like
John Wayne, kicking in the stall doors and
checking every single toilet. After the movie
ended we all had to go to the bathroom because we
had finished off one of those 64 ounce drinks.
Daaang, they are huge, but the small one is only
.12 cents cheaper, so what can you do?
Anyway, we get
to the bathroom and my 16 year old son, Josh,
gets a little ADD from the movie. He looks at us
and yells “HEY! Y’ALL WATCH THIS!”
He gets in the “karate kid” stance and
actually pulls off one of the best front kicks I
have ever seen. He was only joking around and was
trying to replay the bathroom scene from the
movie but there was one little problem. He
accidentally kicked in a stall door. I just hung
my head and waited but the look on Josh’s
face told the rest of the story.
When he said,
“Dude, I’m so sorry”, my
suspicions were confirmed and I almost peed my
pants right there from laughing so hard. This
poor guy is just sitting there, minding his own
business, with his pants around his ankles,
wearing nothing but a terrified look on his face.
He must have seen the same movie.
Everything got
real quiet and Josh said “Let me get that
for ya.” Then he slowly reaches in and
closes the door back. I’m now leaning on the
sink trying to catch my breath. I’m in a
bathroom with six urinals and four stalls and I
think I’m going to pee my pants for sure.
How ironic is that?
Thank the good
Lord for children that don’t think. They
make the world a funnier place. God bless ya son!
I’m just sayin’.
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